I’ve just recently discovered that my engagement ring isn’t what I thought/was told it was. I was told it was 18K gold with 15 solitaire diamonds and cost 4.5k. It is 18K gold, but when I was cleaning out the cupboard the other day, I found the payment plan paperwork for it, and it said total cost was $1800. Definitely cubic zirconia for that price! We’ve been together 15 years, engaged for 10. I’ve been so proud that it had so many, what I thought were diamonds. I’ve felt so special and loved flashing it around. Now I am not a fussy picky person. I’m not fancy in the slightest, so it’s not about the money. It’s the fact of how stupid I feel and how mad I am at him for telling me they were real diamonds and that it was 4.5K. He lied to me and went along with it. He does very well for money too, so it’s not that he couldn’t afford it. I haven’t said anything to him. I just feel really stupid and shit!
22 Replies
Maybe he lied knowing you’d react this way and sorry to be blunt you obviously care about price etc the ring represents love and commitment not look at me and my Dimond ring
At that price and gotten 10yrs ago, l'm gonna say lab diamonds. He probably didn't ven know the difference.
It seems strange that you care so much, maybe that's why he lied, just saying because I told my partner to go cheaper than what he wanted too. After all, I don't like that much spent on something that isn't important. I do get not liking that he lied, but I would examine why he felt the need to because you talked more in this post about it not being real diamonds than you did about the fact he lied.
It's original price was probably 4.5k based on the gold. He probably bought it on sale. So if that's the case, he technically wasn't wrong.
Making good money but had a payment plan for an $1800 ring? You sure he was that financially stable 15 years ago?
I’d hazard a guess that a $4000 ring wasn’t in the budget but he felt pressured to buy you something extravagant that you could brag about the value of.
Because you obviously care.
You say it’s not about the money but then negate that with the spiel about him being able to afford it.
I’d be annoyed about the lie. NOT because the product wasn’t what I thought it was but because my partner thought that was something I’d care about enough to create the lie. You’re mad because you’re embarrassed you showed off a ring that wasn’t as expensive as you thought.
It's possible he had no idea. A lot of jewellers rip people off & they buy something worth a lot less than the ticket price, get it valued & it's half the purchase price.
They price difference might the old retail trick of hiking prices - a 4.5k ring.... On sale and 'marked down' to $1800. Of course, he'll say it's a 4.5k ring!
I might be completely wrong, but it's just another scenario that means he wasn't careful enough & was taken advantage of. If he HAS lied, that's what would concern me. Is he being cheap, or did he feel pressured to provide an expensive ring?
That’s a valid point. I work in retail/sales and unfortunately some salespeople and business will do unethical (and probably even illegal) things to get a sale.
Engaged for ten years, says it all really. A marriage proposal to appease you and a fake ring to appease you. This guy has no respect for you.
Concerned about the diamonds but ignores the fact that he hasn't followed through and actually married you.
You have bigger problems than the ring, just saying.
I know a few couples that got engaged and never married and they're very happy and stable. They just don't really care about having a wedding and figured the engagement was all the promise needed.
Also, for the life of me I can't find an 18 carat ring with cubic zirconia that is anywhere near $1800. $1195 is the most expensive I can find.
My engagement ring on the other hand was a 5K ring purchased on sale for 2K. Hubby and I chose and purchased it together so he hasn't 'tricked' me.
I think this man hasn't lied at all.
Then get a promise ring or have a commitment ceremony.
A proposal from a man is just that, it is a proposal to get married in the future, it isn't a promise.
The proposer literally asks: "Will you marry me?"
I've never met a woman or man that has been proposed to and has said yes (i.e. they are pro-marriage) and has been happy to stay in engaged indefinitely.
The happy couples you see, I guarantee the one proposed to carries some resentment, but the one who proposed is quite happy, thinking they did "enough" to keep the subject off limits.
To propose to someone without any intention to follow through is deception.
And don't give me the line about finances, people with no money get married at the registry every day.
It's not about the dress, the party, it's about the commitment to each other.
This man has lied on many levels.
Not everyone thinks the same way though. I planned my wedding in a heartbeat, but that's me.
Everyone does think the someway though.
If you are asked by someone to marry them, then the expectation is that they will marry you.
Who happily gets engaged, thinking they will never be married?
No-one.
hi everyone, i'm so excited, i just got engaged, best moment of my life.
by the way, we never plan to marry, he just thought it would be nice to ask me, but he doesnt actually want to marry me.
yay me, thanks for your messages.
Read the Facebook post. Heaps of women commenting they were engaged for many years before marrying because other things in their life took priority because the piece of paper wasn't needed to justify their love and devotion to each other. Sorry if you had someone string you along but your experience doesn't match everyone else's.
Good for you? I was engaged for 9 years before we actually married, because life happens and things like our children’s well-being and my health issues were more of a priority. Get down off your high horse before someone knocks you off it
You would know if it was cubic zirconia because it would look like it. $1800 for a $4500 ring on sale sounds right. I think he has the right to be angry that you care about the ring more than the man though? I'm sure that's not actually the case, but that's how it appears
So interesting he felt the need to tell you how much it cost! That’s so strange.
I have never and would never ask about the cost of any gift. Nor do people usually brag about that.
Are you sure it isn’t about the money? Because it hasn’t changed. It is still as pretty as before you found out the price. Your perception of it changed based on its monetary value!
Engagement ring might be a listed item on contents insurance and listed for retail, not sale, pricing?
Hmm okay engaged for over 10 years. Is there a reason there's not been any wedding?
Also is he cheap/measly around money in general?
You've been lied to. You have every right to wonder how much else he has lied about. I mean, why bother. If you have to lie about the price of a ring on one of the most special days.. why propose to that person. I would feel betrayed too especially because I would not care if it was a cheaper ring. It kinda sucks.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it very well could be 18k with diamonds. We’re talking 10 years ago and it was more than likely on sale. So the true value was 4.5k- did it have a valuation certificate with the paperwork?
My wedding band ten years wasn’t on sale and cost $2500 18k, 7 diamonds at Michael Hill.
If you are feeling ripped off have it valued before you fly off the handle.
Maybe he paid some in cash and put the $1800 on a payment plan ?