Dear Perfect Mums,
I address this post to all the apparently 'perfect mums' who are apart of the Imperfect mum community.
I am appalled at the comments that have appeared on the 'Naughty baby' post. Posts suggesting this IM stop breeding (she isn't an animal!), stop treating her child like a pet, stop trying to force her child into something and calling her stupid for referring to her baby as naughty....my God! Were all you bitchy and unhelpful women just waiting for something like this to pop up so you could attack a mum who clearly needs support? A mother who is a second time mum and clearly struggling with sleep deprivation?
So many of you failed to even read the post and judged her entire question on the title alone. I highly doubt she actually believes her child to be naughty. Its like mums who say their children are terrors...they dont f***ing mean it because they love their children. This iM sought out this community for advice but instead for the most part she was given the opposite.
Every baby is different. Every mum is different. We shouldn't be judging other mums because we wouldn't do it their way. Some babies sleep well from tbe get go and others dont. Some can self settle and others need a cuddle. Some mums can cope with a baby who sleeps little and others cant. If you dont have advice, you could've at least given her some empathy. To me this IM sounds like she is struggling and may possible be suffering from pnd. All you bitchy women who wrote nasty comments may have just worsened it!
Next time, before you decide to write a comment - Stop. Stop and take a moment to think about whether your post will actually help your fellow mother. Take the time to think if its actually worth posting at all because if you have even the slightest doubt, dont say anything and keep scrolling. If you feel youre a perfect mum and can do no wrong, leave the IM community.
We should be helping and supporting each other. We shouldn't be taking it as an opportunity to make another woman feel bad. We don't know what her story is. She may be feeling so much more worse than what is written or she may have just come out of a dark time only to be put right back there by thoughtless keyboard warriors.
To all those who were helpful, thank you for being so wonderful. ♡
4 Replies
I just read the post...im dissapointed with the "Perfect mothers" too. :-(
Hey now, I am as imperfect as they come and yeah ok maybe some of us come across as harsh but well the IM did call the baby naughty and many of us were stating the obvious. As mums we all know that raising children is sometimes trying and what works for some doesn't work for others. We have all been sleep deprived and cranky at different stages of our lives, There's no way to sugar coat facts about a baby who won't go to sleep. It's either persist or go with what ever works. I am sure she will sort it out eventually.
And how helpful is it to her to state the obvious? Not helpful at all. There's a clear difference between stating the obvious and being a down right bitch. So many said that a 3 month old cant self settle or sleep longer than 30 to 40 min. Bullshit. Every child is different and her expectations weren't unrealistic and as you said, she will sort out whats right for her and her bub eventually but she is trying methods to work that out first! She said she didnt want her child to do cio, so she cares. Reading the posts, she has almost been branded a bad mum for using 1 word.
The point was that rather than helping this woman, so many commenters decided to attack her for the use of ONE word, which Im sure she did not mean literally. So many people lost focus on the issue itself. She has an older child who may have had success with self settling and slept much better. It's okay for this mother to assume the same will happen once more - clearly she is learning.