I feel like I am drowning..

Anonymous

I feel like I am drowning..

I'm a young mum to 3 little kiddies, 6 & under. My husband works FIFO and I am home by myself with the kids for the greater part of each month. I have no family within a few hours of me and daycare is far too expensive to consider, all my friends have kids and I wouldn't like to depend on them to help me regardless. My youngest children are terrible sleepers, waking average of 10 times a night, and up at 6am (have seen specialists because of this- there is no identifiable issues with them waking- apparently some kids just don't sleep). My middle child is a handful, very full on all the time. My husband is so helpful around the house when he is home, but I honestly don't think this offers me much respite at all. I feel like I am drowning. I am constantly tired, grumpy, I find I'm yelling at the kids at the drop of a hat. I used to be such a good mum, I would bake with them, take them places, do arts and crafts and get down on the floor to play with them. All it feels like I do now is wash, cook (they won't eat it anyway), clean and get grumpy at them. Some days I am not even sure I like them- some days even their laughter just makes me want to cry. Of course I do know that I love them wholly and completely.
I know that I am suffering from depression, I have been diagnosed with this, as well as PTSD and anxiety, but due to health issues I am unable to take any medication for it at the moment.
I don't even know what I am asking here to be honest. I need some help to find the joy in my life again. I am so so lucky to have 3 gorgeous, healthy, happy children, but I just can't seem to pick myself up and dust myself off.

Posted in:  Mental Health, Post Natal Depression, Anxiety & Depression, Self Care, Parenthood Guilt, Health & Wellbeing, Kids

2 Replies

Anonymous

Maybe it is time for a career change for hubby? Or even time for a career change for you? Sometimes going to work can be heaven compared to being a stay at home mum. BTW sleep deprivation is torture and you should never ever ever be afraid to ask your friends for help. Tell them what your going through tell them you very very badly need sleep.

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Anonymous

You are a great mum never think any different I have 3 kids under 6 also all still wake every night , middle child has middle child syndrome omg and my mum told me once you always love your children but somedays you just don't like them and that's normal :) anyone who says different is a liar lol I'm not sure where you live but we have occasional care book the kids in for 1 or 2 days and that's all you have to pay , sleep for those 2 days , have a soak in the bath by yourself, Seriously look it up and do it , will be the best thing you ever do good luck

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