My oldest daughter has just left home and I am overwhelmed by grief. She doesn't call or visit regularly and I am having a terrible time adjusting. I still have a child at home, but the emptiness and loss I feel are devastating. It's really impairing my ability to be a good wife & mum. Any advice, anyone?
4 Replies
Get some hobbies and interests that don't involve your children. Time to become a person that's well being isnt dependent on being a mum.
If one has just left home then I suspect the next one is pretty much old enough to look after themselves and will be totally fine if you take some time for yourself and so will hubby. Time to focus on the next stage of your life and run towards it.
I had this convo with my mum the other day. I never understood that she was worried about me and I just thought she was controlling. One thing my mum never did was share her emotions. So call her invite her over for dinner arrange get together a out side of the home. She will be caught up in her own woes thus not hearing from her. It's a hard adjustment for both parties. Just keep that in mind and let her know you love and miss her and would like to see her more
Call her. My mum called me to say good morning A LOT - (I moved out at 18).
Tell her you have cooked lots of dinner (I went to my mothers once a week for dinner when I moved out).
Ask her if she wants to go to lunch or visit her at work/at uni/at home for lunch.
Life is busy when you first move out. Let her know how you feel and ask her how she feels and how much contact she would like. I missed my mum when I moved out but I just was a bit wrapped up in my "new" life, my mum asked me and organised things for us to do and called. My mother died three years ago, I ws 24, I miss her and the things we use to do together.
If the grief is to much you might need to see someone about it, ask your GP. You will always be her mum, you have taught her independence - what a wonderful gift you have given her.