I really miss my dad tonight. has anyone ever lost a parent and really struggled to stop the tears. It's been two years and not a day goes by I don't choke up, cry or feel like a just swallowed a golf ball. Does it ever get easy? How did you cope? I threw myself into work, but since having a baby and being in maternity leave I feel myself looking at his pictures, imagining how much he would love and spoil the granddaughter he didn't get to meet... Does the hurt stop?
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Its been 8years and yes, the space in between losing it and hurting gets bigger, and you find that you can think and talk about them with laughter and positivity. It takes time and I think those breakdowns and loss and missing will always Catch you sometimes.
But I found having kids really brings it out. Especially having a new baby. It hits home that he's not here, and I want him to be. Just the other day I imagined if my kids had their grandad In their life and it brought a tear, he would have adored them.
My daughter is doing families at school and has asked where my dad is and really interested about him and it caught me off guard and showing pictures and talking about him brought tears to my eye, but it was also really nice too.
It stays with you, but it does get better. Not so frequent and so raw.