Ok so I wrote the post about my sister staying with me.
I am a single mum of 3 and pay $690 a week in rent.
I heard a lot of judgement and stereo typing..
Cmon girls this is a sisterhood!!!
I am a Ceo of a company and I earn a fair bit.. Lucky me.
I do own a house that is in a settlement at the moment and I can't touch it.
I don't want to buy just yet so I rent right near my kids school...
So my question is.. Why do we say things like..
How does a single mum afford that?
Do we really think of single mums as poor as a whole?
I know some mums do it tough and I totally get that.. But let's not stereo type and assume any single mum is on benefits and rorting the system.
So how much rent do you pay?
I live in Sydney and sadly where my kids go to school, that rent is cheap!
10 Replies
And for the comment that really rattled me...
No I don't get big money of my ex.. I have to pay him child support!
your not alone, i own my own business and clear 1500 per week, my mortgage is 250, i receive $15 per fortnight child support for two kids, i am a single mum and i continuously get "your daddy pays for everything" or "poor little rich girl"
like seriously everyone fuck off i make my own money, i pay my own way, as i have done since i turned 16, i saved my own deposit to pay for a house, i bought my own car - all with no help from anyone.
Ohh I hear you!
I got a comment about how I must be spending their taxes..
Lol.
I pay way more in tax than the norm and I still don't begrudge benefits.
How privelledged I am to be able to work at the level I can.
I will always support benefits and social housing.
I also do not assume that a single mum must be sitting on her butt collecting money from the government.
As for taxes.. They also go to hospitals, schools, roads, water, rail...
But everyone believes that their tax money is just for benefits.. Lol
I was horrified when I read those comments! How sad is it that you had to even disclose your employment status.
I am a single mum who is doing it tough, but I have friends who are single mums who are doing extremely well financially on there own. I know single mums who are doctors, in finance etc.
I have been really lucky or unlucky in my rent situation. My son has multiple (x5) disabilities so eventually we got out of the private rental market and are in government housing. But in Sydney 8 years ago I was paying $340 a week for a 2 bedroom unit. So your rent didn't actually sound that high to me!
Now I pay $160 in aDelaide in government housing. Privately we were paying $240 in a one bedroom unit. So still $690 for a large house doesn't sound that huge in comparison.
Your kindness is incredible.. You should be so proud of what you are overcoming.
Money makes life easy but you know what kids need most and that's a parent who keeps going and loving even though it's tough.
Your kids are lucky to have you.
Xxxx
Only one kid :)
I read an article the other day about a single mum trying to find a different label for herself because she was fed up with being stereotyped. I tried to find it for you, thought you'd find it interesting but couldn't.
I am very lucky financially compared to others in my situation. We seem to have more than most in our income bracket. So we sometimes fall fowl to the 'how do you afford that' and not on my tax comments. What they don't realise is I bought second hand, up-cycle things myself and am lucky enough to have family who are doing well financially that they can spend more than $30 on a birthday present for me, or that I bought something when I was able to work. They also don't see that my car is 20 years old, rarely gets driven and since I rarely leave the house my expenses are pretty bloody low!
I also think my housing situation was extremely lucky. In SA they are actively trying to break the cycle of government housing suburb 'ghettos' so to speak (I really didn't want to be stereotyped either). So the old suburbs have mostly been bulldozed and government housing is dotted amongst regular housing. I've always said put a bunch of depressed, poor people together and all they do is drag each other down. But being in a suburb of houses where people are moving forward is motivating. You'd never know by my house that it's government housing and my garden is looking better every year (thanks to learning to grow from cuttings etc). Anyway point is I think we are really lucky and privileged, for someone in my position and resent people making assumptions about my situation too.
I live in qld and my rent for a 4 bedroom house is $300/week - we are incredibly lucky!
Good on you for making a life for yourself and children, to answer your original question I would recommend your sister having her "visits" at her boyfriends house. I don't think kicking her out etc is necessary, and even if she were paying rent that wouldn't solve the problem of her boyfriend around - I would put this to her and if she doesn't like those conditions then she is welcomed to move on out then! You are being more then reasonable with letting her stay rent free to get on her feet etc. she needs to apply that same courtesy to you and abide by your rules! Good luck :)
Yes I don't want to kick her out. She would do the same for me.
I am going to sit down with her today and have a chat about going forward.
I am happy for my kids to meet him in about 6 weeks when I feel it is more than just a short affair.
I love my sister and could not kick her out but I do think I need to set boundaries.
Thank you so much.
Good on you, I saw posts starting to question that and I thought mind your business!!! How rude and presumptuous! you don't even need to responD but good on you, obviously people do assume mothers don't work or make a high income...
Why do u think single mums on benefits are ripping the system off. I find that very affensive. I was being helped when I was a single mum and working centre link knew everything. Now in married and am now off benefits. I personally think u are making it to b a stero type