I wrote in a little while ago about my daughter telling me that her fathers girlfriend touched her inappropriately. Well I took her to a doctor and she told the doctor exactly the same things as she told me and he referred me on to a clinic with a child psychologist. I booked an appointment that day and was able to take her in, the psychologist asked my daughter questions and showed her a doll and asked her to tell her what was happening at daddys house, with what my daughter was saying to her I completely broke down! (I also recorded this and showed her father). The psychologist is convinced something had happened for her to say these things and reported it to dhs for investigation, she also advised me to brake orders and not allow my daughter in her care when she is at her fathers. When I told this to her father he completely lost it at me and started saying that im a sick person for ever considering that my daughter was telling the truth and that im doing this out of spite or jealousy (Im not, Im actually thankful she looks after my girl when her father dumps her on her and works long hours), then told me to grow up and never talk to him again. I have been trying to get through to him so my daughter still has a relationship with her father but he wont answer my calls or reply to my messages.I'm completely loosing my mind!! I want my daughter to be safe but at the same time i want her to have a good relastionship with her father but he's too much in love with his girlfriend to see that our daughter is obviously going through something major!! I don't know what to do any more!! Im 32 weeks pregnant with my second and im finding it very hard to look after her new considrable amount of clinginess and i seem to be doing my own head in thinking so much about it all.. I'm wondering if there is any advice you guys had for me or possibly someone with their own view on it all that could help me push through it all and stay strong for my little girl?
am i crazy or is she telling the truth #2
am i crazy or is she telling the truth #2
Posted in:
Mental Health, Post Natal Depression, Self Care, Parenthood Guilt, Behaviour
6 Replies
Don't push a relationship with the dad at this point. Concentrate on your daughter and your needs. Let the dad calm down. Let professionals deal with dad.
Don't push contact with the father. Drill into him that you must believe and protect the child. This is the one instance where you must always assume guilt until proven innocent, it's for her own safety, and he is failing to protect her by not doing that. Personally I'd be glad to have no contact for a while while you sort this out, it makes it easier for you to break the orders and protect her through this. So my advice is stop trying to contact him.
I wish I had a parent that listened to me when I was a little girl. Don't push her dad let dcp deal with it your sole job is to PROTECT your daughter. I would be seeking legal advice on the court orders or parenting plans and making sure temporary orders are put in place to protect your child. Supervised visits with her dad if he won't believe your daughter. I would also stop all contact with the dad if he doesn't want to know or understand or acknoledge the situation then theirs no point.
How heart breaking for you. Don't waste your much needed and precious energy trying to get through to her father now, i would wait till the dust settles and he has calmed down. You are doing the right thing by your baby girl, if he wants to act like an ass let the dept deal with him. As for dd maybe get her hands on with preparing for the new Bub, get her to help decorate, put away new clothes, make things for the baby, even help you out around the house, at least then she won't be hanging off you and she will feel use full and included.
Best of luck mumma and just remember that your doing it all to help your little girl x
No matter what I would not allow her to go there. U went through this with one of my children and it turned out that it was their father. Even though at the time my daughter wouldn't say it was him I still knew that something wasn't right. Focus on your daughter, do what ever it takes to help her through this dreadful event in her life. If you don't, she will only get worse trust me I'm speaking from experience
When it happened with my daughter she was involved with dhs and they did nothing to help her and she got so bad she was bed wetting every night, smearing pooh every where,became extremely scared of anyone touching her,even just to hold her hand. But the most disturbing thing was that she started touching her sister and other children in inappropriate ways because she thought it was normal. I'm not trying to scare you but you must do everything in your power to help her. As a result of what happened to my daughter, I was unable to have her in my care anymore as she no longer trusted me to protect her. Although she was in her ffather's care when this happened so I could not have known until I started seeing the signs. Trust in your daughter and above all else believe her. Good luck if you need to chat don't hesitate to contact me
You are not a sick person.
You're an amazing mum, who has protected her daughter and listened to her. You've done right by her.
I know you are copping abuse and that must be hard and consuming your thoughts. The only advice i have for that is maybe you can redirect your energy on showing your daughter how supported she is.
On another note i think that it would be best if you ask your ex that any correspondance be made by text between you and him and you start a journal of what has been said between each of you etc.
Stand tall and keep that chin up mumma, You Are Amazing.