Long story short - I always said I wanted children. I got married, and hubby was desperate for a child. Soon, we were pregnant - he was over the moon. Then, we lost it. It shook us both, but we got through it, and 6 months later, found out we were expecting again. I spent the whole pregnancy worried that something would happen, and never really "bonded" with my bump. Baby then came early and it was all a kind of whirlwind. I got hit hard with the PND stick and struggle a lot to still find some kind of bond with my child. I feel awful. I hear so many people going on about this massive flood of love that happens when their baby is born, or shortly after, and I've got nothing. I love my child, but I think perhaps the idea of a child was more appealing then actually having it. We have now found out that we're expecting again. Quite soon after the first. Not only am I worried that I'm going to loose it too, but if I don't, what if I don't have a bond with it either? What kind of mother does that make me? I feel like I can't handle one (though I hide it well a lot of the time), how the hell am I going to handle 2!?
1 Replies
Not everyone feels that rushing bond. For some people it takes a lot longer. And to tell you the truth there are times in my sons life I've felt bonded and other times where I'm going through the motions and the times if going through the motions can be long!
Have you ever spoken to someone about your last pregnancy experience, like a counsellor. I think it would be worth a shot. It sounds like it's a good time to resolve those feelings.