Hi IM'S & ID'S,
Sorry, its a long one.
We have a gorgeous family of 5, and i feel our family is complete. Due to medical reasons, and bad reactions etc i am reduced to only using condoms and withdrawl as our method of contraception. This is in combination and not one or the other, as we have already had a "whoopsi" due to a broken condom. Hence the combination.
When i found out about that pregnancy i was so upset and expressed my concerns with hubby. I later miscarried and hubby has taken it upon himself to have the snip, as i have already exhausted all of my options. I felt relieved about the m/c and at times feel guilty for feeling that way.
Anyway, i feel that my husband is having the surgery because he saw how upset i was with the last pregnancy. He does 2&1 and i dont have alot of support, plus having health issues with 2 of our children already. I just dont feel i could manage another child. The thought petrifies me! Its like a boogy monster under your bed waiting to get you.
I am hesitant with my husband getting this surgery because i think his views are tainted by my emotions. I do not want him to regret this decision. Hypothetically, should i pass or we separate, it would be ashame to prevent another woman having a child with the man she loves. Children are amazing little beings and help you to become the best version of yourself. The love i have for my children, i do not want to deprive another from having the same. My relationship is rock solid so I doubt any of that will ever happen but it is something that needs to be considered. I am also worried about him post-op. His recovery and if things will go smoothly.
I think I'm going through cold feet prior to surgery and im not the one having the surgery.
Has any of your husbands had a vasectomy? How did you feel leading up to D day? How was his recovery? How has the decision changed your relationship? For the better, or? Do you or does he regret the decision made? Is there anything i can do to make him feel more comfortable post op?
Thanks in avance everyone.. x
7 Replies
Vasectomies can be reversed. I think you are thinking too much into this and quite frankly I think it's great he is doing the responsible thing here. I think he knows you are playing roulette, condoms as birth control are notoriously ineffective for a number of reasons (mostly people are just crap at using them). Seriously what are your alternatives here? He might be perfectly happy having the number of kids he has. Also not everyone that separates wants to have more kids with there next partner. As a single woman in the dating pool with men who have a couple of kids, most guys I meet definitely don't want another round of kids.
Stop over thinking it, and do what's best for your family now, which is one of you getting the ship :)
My hubby got the snip last year and best decision ever!! The procedure is over within half an hour and recovery is not that bad. My hubby had it done Friday and was back to work Monday! The dr gave him painkillers and he only needed a couple to help with the swelling. I guess you both have to decide if this is what you want. For us we knew I had high risk pregnancies and just mentally wouldn't have coped with another baby. After the vasectomy your hubby will have. To have sperm tested at 3 months which a lot of guys don't do but so important otherwise you can still fall pregnant! It's so much less stress now and I don't ever have to take contraceptives ever again!
My hubby got the snip 12mts ago. I was nervouse but hubby was adimate that he didnt want anymore kids even if our relationship went sour. Surgery itself didnt take all that long. Recover hubby only used nurophen as pain relief and was only out for 1 day he was back to work after a few days. Its the best thing we have done contraceptives really had a negative effect on my body so ive been able to come off completely. Just gotta be careful the 3mths after surgery to wait for him to shoot blanks we actually waited 6mths just to be sure.
My husband had his op in 2012 after our 3rd child was born. I was very nervous leading up to it but he was 100% he was having the operation as he didn't like me taking contraception as it made me in to some sort of a crazy lady.
The op itself was simple, it was done under a local in the specialists rooms. The first 24 hours was strict bed rest and after that lite duties. We resumed our sex life about 7 days after he had the op.
Our sex life has improved greatly as I now don't have the worry and stress of ending up pregnant.
It has made things much better in our home and my husbands libido increased dramatically which I didn't think was possible.
Good on your hubby for wanting to have it done, support his decision and be there to wait on him post op.
Good luck Mumma xx
Definitely over thinking it. Sex is much, much better after a vasectomy. . Orgasming together Without him having to pull out. He'll love it. ;)
I have had two children and both times have had lots of complications and with my youngest, I nearly died. My husband made the choice to get a vasectomy because he felt that we just couldn't risk trying to have another baby. We also felt like our family was complete. He had to be put under for the procedure and recovered really well. I was ready with frozen peas and all and he didn't even use them. Just rested and kept up the pain relief and was fine later that day. I think it's wonderful that he is willing to do this for you, I think you should just let it happen and relax. I know how hard it is to be intimate with your husband and have this constant fear of falling pregnant. It's hell and you don't even enjoy it because you're scared that something going to go wrong/ he might forget to withdraw etc. After he gets the all clear (no more swimmers) sex is actually enjoyable again! You won't regret it and.neither will he. All the best xox
Thank you beautiful ladies. I have been over thinking things. Its nice to be reminded. My husband has had his surgery and is now in "recovery". I think i will be less anxious in a few days when things settle down for him.