I'm just wondering how often you all catch up with your girlfriends on average? Weekly, monthly, never....I understand friends going 'missing' in the baby years but my friends and I all have little ones around 2-6 years. It seems my friends never initiate catch ups. When we do finally catch up we have the best time, laugh till we cry stuff so I am so grateful for them and i try not to be a foolish school girl and think they're avoiding me. I guess I know they're not avoiding me, I know we're great friends it just hurts to be the only one to initiate most catch ups. I'm one of those people that needs her girlfriends, needs to have a laugh. As much as I love motherhood and my hubby I need my sisterhood and as great as you all are on this forum ;-) nothing beats a friend and a coffee or a wine. I'm rambling, I know I'm blessed. Please just tell me I guess this is normal or tell me how to lure my lovely friends away from their housework, babies, husbands, work just a little more often than once say every 4-6 weeks. Feeling pathetic for feeling this way but feel so lonely which is crazy when I even have company in the loo;-)
10 Replies
I feel just the same. I just posted about the same topic. I miss having friends. I too feel like I am the only one who initiates catch ups. I am very lonely and sad lately. My kids are everything to me and I know how lucky I am but I need friends too.
I had kids very young while all my friends where out teaveling and partying i was home being mummy they are all only now having children. In the end most of them fell away.
I am very much the same, I love my babies and time with my hubby however having a good catch up with my girlfriends is something I need also.
Fortunately I am lucky enough to have 2 very close friends I see on a fortnightly basis. Our catch up will vary from breakfast catch up, play dates with our babies, dinner dates or ladies nights out. We try to mix it up so that we all have a healthy mum/friend life balance.
I went from having so many 'friends' before I gave birth to now having a handful of true friends that continued to make time for me after I had my son. It's a shame it happened but it made me realise who my real friends were :)
I would usually see friends no more than once a month. I find booking well in advance works for me if someone rings up as says let's do something on the weekend and it's already Monday it's not likely to happen.
I only get to see my closest girlfriends maybe twice a year if I'm lucky. They all moved hours away from the area we grew up in due to jobs, husbands jobs, etc. We've now decided every Christmas to go camping for a couple of nights together because when we do catch up its normally crazy with them trying to fit everyone in while they are home. I have two girlfriends that live close to me that I try to see every few weeks but sometimes it just doesn't happen! Life gets crazy as the years go by but I've come to learn its more about the quality of the time spent together rather then the amount!
I've got 2 close friends from school. One has 3 kids 7, 5, 3 and the other has none (but lots of family commitments). I've got 4 kids (6, 4, 2, 2weeks). We all live 30mins from each other and we catch up prob every 2-3mths. We all know how busy each of us are and don't really have a problem.
I've recently made friends with my daughters Kindy friends mum (dd is in prep now at a dif school to the other Kindy mum kids, but I got on really well with them so have stayed in touch) they organise a catch up every week (with whoever can make it) for coffee at a local coffee shop. Everyone lives within 10mins of each other so it's much easier to organise these little catch ups which can go from 1-3hrs depending on what ppl have on.
IT's been years for me: hardly ever see any of my friends since having kids, and we all have kids of a similar age too.
The last few times I saw any friends it was instigated by me. Haven't seen or heard from any of them as I got sick of being the one to always make contact. Got lonely, depressed, suffered PND following the birth of my second but I am finally feeling better about it all. Met a few new acquaintances in other school mums too. We go out for coffee every couple of weeks which is great.
I think it depends on the time of year honestly. I caught up with my best friend recently and we sat there trying to work out when we last saw eachother - it had been two months! When everyone has families with different routines and work committments, it can be really hard trying to find time to get together. Also she has 3 kids and I only have my daughter, so I am usually driving out to her as it is easier to lug one kid around than 3. That means I am less inclined to go see her as often because I don't always feel like driving out there at night after work etc. I have another couple of girlfriends who live close to me so it is a bit easier to catch up because they are close enough to do coffee on a school night. But honestly, if I see at least one of my friends every couple of months I consider it a good year :D I'm lucky however because I am very close to my sisters and brother and I see them weekly, so I don't have a chance to get too lonely. But it would be nice to have more time to see my friends!
I see my 2 best friends every weekend ☺ the rest of my girlfriends I see maybe once every month or two!
I literally have no friends and 2 children under 3 years old.
It gets very lonely.