A dear friend of mine has just suffered her third miscarriage. I am devestated so I can't even imagine how she is feeling. She has not spoken much about it, only to say that she thought it would be easier third time around but it's not. I'd like to buy her a necklace with three angel wings attached as a token of remembrance for her angel babies and to show her that it's ok to grieve and remember them, but I'm afraid of how she will react. My question is, for those that have had the devastating experience of a miscarriage, would this upset you or bring you comfort? Would I be out of line doing this? Thank you for any insight anyone can give me, I'm at a loss as to how I can help my friend.
6 Replies
I have had 6 and it never gets easier.
I think your idea is beautiful and a great way for her to know you care
I think that is a beautiful idea. After having been through two miscarriages, one of the hardest things is that people often don't acknowledge the loss, either because it was early and they never knew you were pregnant or they don't identify the pregnancy as ever having been a baby. It will no doubt bring a fresh flood of tears to your friends eyes but I think privately it will be something she always cherishes
That is a beautiful idea. I would have appreciated something like that. Just to show that you care about her and her angels xx what a great friend you are x
Just the way that you feel pain for her shows how much of a great friend you are. I think it's a lovely gesture to show her how much you care. I don't think you ever forget or not think about the baby or babies you loose, but it makes it something to hold on to when you think about them, just something symbolic. The most amazing thing is that you don't forget or push it under the rug but you want to help her remember, I think you should. Don't forget even if she might not want to talk about that a coffee and chat about other things also does wonders.
if that was me (have lost 2) i would be so touched. considering when i lost my 2 my sister said, oh well you'll be right, and saying i wasn't a mum cause there is no baby. yeah, that happened! so although doing what you want to do for your friend might make her emotional at first, she will love it. i think thats a very thoughtful idea.
I've had 2, thought I was having a third a week or so ago but I ended up not having been pregnant in the first place. I think that's a lovely idea, as long as she's a very close friend. If you aren't that close it could be a bit confruntion for her.