Hi I would like some advice. Last year my friend committed suicide on Christmas Day. I think about her a lot. I went through such an awful year last year and she was such a rock to me. She cheered me on from the sidelines and encouraged me to keep going. She helped me find God through Christianity. She was a wonderful person with a beautiful heart.
I feel so guilty that I didn't do enough for her. I didn't see this coming. I did not know she was in so much pain. I should have known. I should have been there for her. I should have not just taken from our friendship - maybe I should have given more instead.
Someone has suggested this is a form of survivor guilt. Does anyone have any experience with this? I feel so sad and lost.
1 Replies
there are no 'rules' when it comes to grieving. When your loss is the result of suicide, I imagine it would be so much more difficult. The only thing I can suggest to you is to perhaps try some counselling? Your friends death was not your fault. Thinking about the 'what ifs' won't bring her back and will only continue to break your own heart. It sounds like your friend had some things going on in her life that no one knew about. And if you had have known, I'm sure you would have done your best to be there for her. I'm also sure your friend wouldn't want you to be feeling this way. Grief counselling might help you get some closure. Please consider this. You need to take care of yourself. All the best <3