Who has taken their husband back after he had an affair (due to relationship problems at home) and worked on the marriage...
Has it worked and how did they overcome issues like trust and being intimate again?
Thank you x
Who has taken their husband back after he had an affair (due to relationship problems at home) and worked on the marriage...
Has it worked and how did they overcome issues like trust and being intimate again?
Thank you x
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12 Replies
Just reposted on the facebook page too and hope it helps x
https://www.facebook.com/Theimperfectmum/posts/648927981840502?stream_re...
I have never had to face this. So I don't have any advice. I only have a huge respect for you for trying to repair your marriage even though you were not a fault. Xoxo I hope you are able to work things out and about trust and intimacy I hope you are able to get it all back. But it has to be a two way street. Good luck. You have my love and support. Xoxox
I have been through this. We separated for a bit and decided to work on our relationship. That was years ago. Most of the time I trust him without doubt but when I am stressed out about life I let my brain assume the worst. I immediately stop myself. We have now been together 18 years
Last year I wrote to the imperfect mum almost this exact thing and got some amazing replies full of hope. I tried to ignore all the 'leave him, kick him to the curb' and I worked on my marriage. It's been hard but I know we are worth it. I still question things, like when it gets hard will he just go do it again? But we need to believe that they realize a mistake has been made and they won't do it.
I hope you get some amazing replies like I did. If you can look back into November and have a read.
Good luck xxx
I have not taken back a partner that has cheated but I have been the one who came back after a one night stand very very early on in a relationship. At the time we chose to work on it and work I did but his capacity to trust me was not there. I attended therapy to understand why I did what I did I tried lots of things to make him feel that he was enough for me but it never worked. My therapist gave me some great advice in understanding how to deal with relationships. If you love this man and you are willing to forgive then do it but you can not throw his mistake in his face whenever you are hurting. The past can never be brought into a current argument. For every negative thing you say or do it takes up to 7 positive things to cancel that. Good luck and remember you chose to start again so do that learn to respect and trust each other and talk openly about your feelings, if you can not do that then move on life is too short to waste being resentful
Just ask yourself this - what would you do if he got someone pregnant? Could you handle that? This happened to me. I decided I was worth more than being treated like that and kicked him out so quick his head spun. I should've done it the first time.
Good on you! Some men are pigs! I hope he felt ashamed.
I took my husband ( then fiancé) after he had a affair. I am not going to lie it took a lot of work. We just had our daughter at the time. The person it was with was my best friend ( ex best friend now) he lost all of his friends and we cut contact from everyone in that particular circle.
He worked for my trust again and still often tells me how sorry he is and how much he wishes he could take it all back. It was a long story with all the details. But yes we got passed it. All of my family told me I couldn't go back to him ( except for my dad and step mum and sister) they were the ones asking how I was feeling. I vented a lot to his mum as we were extremely close and I know without her we wouldn't be here. We are now married have been for almost 2 years now. Our relationship is stronger then ever and he has worked and I do trust him again. That took time and also open ness for instance when things were going on he would NEVER leave his phone around and since then he does and doesn't mind me looking in it. At first I would look at who he had called and texted now I find I don't need to. Time and hard work but if you still love him it can happen and you can get back to a good place or find a happier better place all together.
I am just going through this. I found out in early November. I left home for a week to clear my head and grieve. We have three children. I went home and decided to work on my marriage. We have had counseling which helped me a lot. We moved states in early December. So I really didn't have a lot of time to think about everything and had to decide quickly if my marriage was worth saving. We are working on it and mostly things are good but I am still filled with hurt and rage. I believe it can be saved if you both really try. I took my vows seriously and believe that if you both have a renewed commitment it can work. At least I hope so. Good luck. It is awful and still makes me nauseous x
hey hunni. I took my husband back before we had our daughter.
his was a drunken one night holiday thing.
i use to say i would NEVER take someone back, but he was very remorseful and my biggest issue at the time was his dishonesty in not telling me that i found him out. if he had of told me i would not still be struggling 4 years on.
but every year gets better, its a long road to forgiveness
for me. I accept him, the good the bad and the ugly. His ugly is the way he grew up the friends he had his conditioning is he doesn't want to cheat but its "normal" to him.
Look, it won't be easy. I wish would would have done some counselling. but we didn't. it was me who had to suck it up a lot and deal with it myself.
I struggle with jealousy and distrust still.
if Im honest i don't think we will make it to our 60s but I'm ok with that cos I am happy now in this moment, I will forever have my beautiful daughter.
he may have done what he did But i know he will be a good father.
we are very happy at this point in our relationship
when he cheated we had been breaking up almost every other month prior to it (not justifying it)
what I guess Im trying to say is you need to accept your new relationship.
you need to accept that it will affect you far longer than it will affect him.
you need to accept that he may do it again.
you need to decide if he is worth it. worth that chance of him hurting you like that again.
cheating isn't the end of the world. and shouldn't always spell the end of relationship.
an affair for me is a bit different as that involves far more intent and deceit. BUT to each their own. every situation is different
hunny I think if your willing and he is willing and shows remorse and maturity you totally can get through this.
but just know its a long hard road.
all the best . xoxoxoxoox
by "new relationship" I meant you need to accept it will be different from now on. and so does he.
lots of things will change and thats just reality.
life isn't fairytails and no one is perfect.
what he did was really shitty, but if you think its worth it go for it its totally possible to get past it. xxx
It can be done! I've done it... But not until I was able to accept responsibility for the part I played in it... My marriage wasn't healthy.. It had been neglected for quite some time!! Honestly , our deprecation due to 'another woman' was the best thing that could have happened for us.. Our marriage is now stronger, we are in it for the long haul AND we both know that the grass is not greener on the other side!! It took is 2 years of separation to get to this point but I am greatful that it happened just the way it did!!