Dear IM,
My teenage son's best friend just lost his father suddenly today. He wanted to see his friend so We took him to His house. it was of course very upsetting. My son was very supportive toward his friend, but when we got home he started getting very upset for his friend. I told him it's ok to feel sad and it's normal to be upset. But honestly I am breaking inside as well and I am lost of words. I don't really know what to say and to help him so he can be strong for his friend and in the same time letting him Feels what he feels.
He wants to see his friend again tomorrow but I want to prepare myself this time.
I know it's not going to be easy to see his friend grieves.
Please help with some advice? I feel very sad myself for his friend and mum. Very heartbreaking ??
1 Replies
He'll be trying to be strong for his friend so let him fall apart when hes at home. He'll be devastated for his mate, shocked and learning how fragile life is and imagining it could have been him losing his loved one. Plus He'll be taking on the grief from his friend too, he'll be heavy with it when he visits, so give him the time and space he needs to let it out after and at home. Keeping it in is not healthy.
Tell him you're proud of him and he's carrying a lot and he can talk to you or you'll help any way you can. Let him know this feeling might stay a while, how long is different for everyone, but it will start to change. He doesn't have to do anything but give it time and know these are the worst days.
Just being there is all you really can do.
His friend might like to hear about a good characteristic he's got that comes from his dad, or good memories or a stories he's in.
It might be too early but in time.
It's just time.