I'm lost for words. At the moment my family is struggling to watch my Nanny die in a hospital bed from Lung Cancer. She was diagnosed back in April this year. She was doing ok given her diagnosis but has completely gone downhill around 6 weeks ago and has possibly only days left with us. It's absolutely heartbreaking to see her suffering and to know our family will never be the same without her :( anyway my overweight mother (her daughter) is continuing to smoke. It just baffles me with what we're all going thru right now. Why is she continuing to do this? Doesn't she realise I will inevitably go thru the same thing with her?!!! I just don't get it... should I be saying something? I don't know what I can do at such a hard time in our lives. We've always been worried about her health and if you have any reason to quit smoking it would be watching your own mother dying of lung cancer. Thank you.
2 Replies
I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through, it must be heartbreaking to lose someone so close. My thought are with you !
As for your mum, this is probably weighing heavily on her mind too but now is not the time. If she has been a smoker for a long time the stress of quitting as well as stress of losing her mum is not a good idea.
Perhaps give it a month or so after funeral and then mention to mum you're worried about her and don't want to go through that again.
As a smoker I can say anytime I hear of someone dying from smoke related cancer it's a wake up call but for your mum it will be more so because it's her mum and will be on her mind a lot to quit.
Different people cope with grief in different ways. Your mum is just as stressed as you are and unfortunately smoking is one of her many coping mechanisms. It's the nature of addiction that she won't be able to give up in a stressful time.
Don't say something, she knows, she is beating herself up about it behind closed doors.