My SIL is suffering PND silently. We come from a traditional European family where it is unheard for mothers to not naturally adapt. Her child is now 6mo, she is in a very unhappy relationship and is still struggling to bond with her little one. It is like she sees the baby as the father and that when he cries, or is unsettled he is doing it on purpose to be stubborn or fight her. She has had a history of terrible relationships and my advice has always fallen on deaf ears in the past so I have long given up, but I was wondering if there is a new way I could reach out to her about how she is feeling particularly about her daughter. I hate to see her like this and all that she is missing, as she just can't see any positivity right now. I have to add that her defensiveness is at an all time high as is the whole families, so there is part of me that says maybe I should just butt out of it?
Should you tackle the topic of PND with someone suffering?
Should you tackle the topic of PND with someone suffering?
Posted in:
Mental Health, Post Natal Depression, Anxiety & Depression, Baby & Toddler
3 Replies
Unfortunately she has to want the help and has to acknowledge that she is suffering, until.this happens their is unfortunately not a lot you can do. You sound like an amazing sil, just keep being their for her and subtly reminding her you are their for her. Praise her and remind her she is doing a wonderful job. Please whatever you do, don't give up on her. Depression is a horrible and scary thing.
I agree that she has to want the help first, but there's still a lot you can do to help her.
Remind her that she's doing a great job.
Tell her that it's okay to struggle - every parent does.
Offer to watch the child if she ever needs a break.
Do you have children, too? Go on play dates as often as possible. Getting out of the house does wonders for depression. And it also gives her a chance to have a bit of a breather as there'll be another set of eyes to help her watch the child.
Just remind her that just because your brothers a bit of an ass, doesn't mean the whole family is.
You don't have to give her advice. She probably feels as though your opinion would be biase because her partner is your brother.
So leave out the advice for now, and just try and develop a friendship with her to remind her that she isn't alone.
Good luck x
I was the same as your sister in law 2 years ago , I was struggling with every thing it took one of the school mum to call in after school drop off and offer to watch Bub (baby number 5 ) while I had a shower she did this for a few weeks Nd slowly over those few weeks she asked me if I felt like I had pnd, my 1st reaction was to get on my high horse but she still came back the next day and watched Bub for me it took about a week for me to tell her I think I had it she called my doctor made the appointment took me and I got the help I needed .
To be honest I'm for every great full for what she did my friend, daughter Nd I now have an awesome bond