Needing advice & encouragement
I'm a young single mum. I am 27 and I have a daughter that's nearly 7 and a 4 year old son.
I work, and I study. I work incredibly hard and ensuring in sure I'll be able to provide for my little family in the best possible way without any government assistance. I will earn a good income. I will not let my children feel the effects of being raised by a single parent. But I'm also conscious of not getting involved with any men, in case subconsciously I'm thinking of the finacial comfort and ease.
Having said this. Right now I am struggling. I am exhausted. I am not making ends meet. I am broke. Literally.. In every sense of the work. Financially physically and mentally. I think about the day I won't have to worry about if my card will accept or decline when I'm buying milk. Or if enough is in my account for rent to go out.
I put aside my proudness and did ask my family if I could move back home, but unfortunately this just isn't possible at the moment.
Unfortunately, I am just not able to give my kids the life the deserve :(
I'm failing them.
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
2 Replies
No, you are not failing your kids. What you are experiencing is normal life stuff, and your kids are not being damaged by this.
But yeah it's time to make some changes. Could you move into a smaller cheaper place? Are you claiming rent assistance etc if you are entitled to? My son and I lived in a one bedroom unit (he had the room I had sofa bed) and honestly it was the happiest time of our lives. There was plenty of room to play but real cheap!
You are far from failing your children. If anything, you're showing them that life is hard but you'll be able to move past it all.
There were many times where my mum was counting 5 cent coins in hopes that we would have enough for milk or bread.
When I look back at my childhood, I don't think of the financial struggles. I think of the tea parties we had, the car games we played, the long walks we went on, her doing my hair and nails.... all that stuff.
And now that I am older, and in a situation where my husband and I struggle financial, I have nothing but appreciation for her.
She made up for what we lacked in other areas.
Struggling is a part of life.
Don't blame yourself. Don't feel guilty. We all have weeks where we put stuff back to make sure we can afford the essentials.
Google budget friendly meals. Things like savoury muffins, chilli, pastas/spaghettis, stir fries. Half your meat, double your vegetables.
Go meatless once or twice a week. It'll help save dollars and it'll be better for your health.
And there's no shame in toasted cheese or 2 minute noodles for dinner.
Call any phone/Internet providers and make sure you're on the best plan suitable for your needs. I was paying $45 for my phone, and now I'm paying $29 for almost the exact same thing!
See if you can put all your bills on a weekly payment plan. It'll help you to budget and you won't have one big bill to deal with.
And remember to take a deep breath and put yourself first occassionly! You're doing a damn hard job and deserve some recognition!