Update/conclusion to "How do I respond respectfully?"

*Update/conclusion*

Hi ladies,

So it has been a week since the initial upset and lets just say, more issues have arised.

The reason my youngest child, the goddaughter, is not allowed to attend is due to the brides mother telling me my 2 year old cannot attend because my children, together, are handfuls and they do not want her to ruin the event, by either being cranky or crying.
The TRUTH finally came after I offered not one, but two solutions (paying for her and ensuring hubby would be on his toes throughout to ensure she remains calm and happy) to the issue and when she finally told me the reason I saw red and almost starting having a panic attack; after attending her engagement party, a few people (her mother) said that my children were a handful together and that my Husband was being a lousy Dad and not watching them. She then told me that her mother is telling her who to invite and will not allow my child to attend and that by my age her mother had 3 children whom were well behaved. In the end she said neither of my children could attend, only an 8 month old and three 4-8 year olds.

My husband, severely offended, said he did not want to be there and asked to be removed from the list, followed by my brother in law whom was only going because my husband was going. Her response was that she felt he was pulling out, out of spite. Hubby urged me to attend with my sister and have a good night whilst he watched the girls. So I am going as m.o.h by myself.

After I solved the issue re: kids, My "bf" then had the nerve to say that I have not been excited and when I told her that I had been excited and attentive, that I had to ask what date, where the venue was, the theme etc etc. She then told me that she is sick of making others happy and that I had to get over everything and do as she says, which leads me to dilemma 3.

She changed our formal dresses to big w above the knee dresses, with black as black stockings and black shoes.... which I tried on today and had a myocardial infarction (heart attack).

I've decided to let this one go because it is not worth it and I do not have time to fight. However, and you can call me selfish etc but my relationship with her is tarnished and I do not see our friendship blossoming any further. I have accepted this also and feel that her wedding,whether some believe it is a sham or not, is my last good memory and I do hope that she has a wonderful life with her future husband.

Thanks for your input ladies.