After TTC baby #2 for over 2 years.... We've just received the news, our chances of falling pregnant are super slim, and that is WITH the help of IVF... We have a 4 year old (whom took a few years to conceive) We had previously had 3 miscarriages prior to having him, and one when he was 3. My pregnancy was high risk, at one stage being told to prepare for the worst, and at 6 weeks there was very slim chance of the pregnancy "sticking". Our beautiful little miracle came into our lives, happy and health.. And thats all we can wish for, well other than just 1 more miracle. I know how lucky we are, how blessed we are that we have one child. But We long so much for just one more miracle. We've been seeing fertility specialists, been on fertility drugs, diet change, had multiple ultrasounds, blood tests, urine tests, lap surgery... we've tried it all. Except IVF, which we've been told is going to be the only slim chance we have. I am shattered. Emotionally and financially, we just can't do it. 4 "Un explained" miscarriages, and one pregnancy that was almost guaranteed to be another, i just couldn't do IVF and then to possibly lose the baby, if we were successful. Sorry for the long post, what I'm getting at, is how do I accept it and move on? we had kept almost all of our 1st child's stuff for the next baby, I've just decided to get rid of most of it.... What else can I do? i want to move on and stop being sad about it, i feel like i am morning a baby... I fell empty, scared and tired. It has put a bit of a strain on my marriage, and has taken away my child's happy mum and replaced her with a mum who is sad and distracted... Please help :(
6 Replies
Can't really offer any advice, but I can absolutely understand where you are coming from we have been trying for #3 for 2 years. We have done all the treatment except IVF also, we've also suffered 2 chemical pregnancies and a miscarriage. My husband hasn't yet had his swimmers checked but before the specialist does any more testing on me they are going to test hubby's stuff. which they seem to think are fine but are just ruling it out. It is hard I'm really struggling with it and struggling to accept it. I feel I should be grateful for the 2 I have but I feel so incomplete as a family. I try and do fun things with my 2 and hold it all together but tend to fall apart at night once they are in bed and I'm alone and have time to think about things. you should check out fertility SA if you are here in SA I believe their prices are some of the cheapest. good luck with your journey. x
You need to mourn. You need to be sad for a while. It does get easier with time. I have my sons baby stuff away a little bit at a time. I kept some special things.
After awhile it got to the point where I really genuinely couldn't imagine having another baby.
Allow yourself the feelings though pushing them down just kicks you in the arse later!
I really feel for babes, I have had 6 pregnancies but only have 1 child!! Once you get through this stage you will be your happy self again I promise. Please take my tiny piece of advice, go over and look at your beautiful boy and loving husband and smile. You have a beautiful family, and you don't want to miss anything worrying about something that's not there. My boy is about to turn 14 and he is my world, I'm now glad that I only have one because spending time with him and watching him grow into an amazing man he is, is honestly the best thing in world.
All my love to you.xx
Give away or sell baby clothes.
Stop trying. I bet it happens
I would look into the Paleo lifestyle. There's a Facebook page called The Paleo Way Tribe, it has thousands of members and countless stories of women with unexplained infertility who after a couple of months of Paleo suddenly fell pregnant. I'm also one of those stories, it took 9 months of trying and just one month of putting the right things into my body and bam, it happened! :) I know it's not going to work for everyone but food really is medicine and I would urge everyone to give it crack before giving up. Goodluck with everything mumma :) X
There is more than 1 way to
Have to baby. You can look
Into a surrogate or adoption. If you feel in your heart your not done, carrying another baby may not be an option but you can most certainly have other options to be a mummy again. If it's always some thing you can speak to your husband and talk about those options see what he says ?