Hi,
I'm wondering if you ladies can tell me what PND feels like? Here's my story-
My baby boy is 13 weeks. I had a tough pregnancy and an even tougher birth. I was induced with high blood pressure at 37 weeks and after 6 hours of labour they gave me an epidural which I really didn't want, to bring down my blood pressure. The epidural block went too high and I couldn't swallow and struggled to breath, so they began trying to let it wear off. They then found he was in distress so rushed me off for an emergency c-section. During the operation my epidural failed completely because it wore off too much and I felt the operation happening, so they put me under general. When I woke up I had excruciating headaches. Three days later due to a miscommunication the midwife told me and my husband that our baby had down syndrome (which he doesn't) so for 24 hours we thought he had a disability and were devastated. Then the following day I was sent off for an MRI and they found that I had a brain haemorrhage during labour which was causing the headaches. Fast forward 13 weeks and I am on alot of pain killers and don't really have answers about if or when I'll get better. Add to this my baby doesn't sleep. I've gone from being pretty tough and unemotional, to crying alot. Over everything. I even cry if I think about how lucky I am to have a supportive family and husband. And often I feel like I can't cope. I always manage, I know I'm a good mum and I always get through the day. But if I think about things, I imagine the worst. That I won't get better and we'll have to sell the house, and that I'll always be in pain. And then I cry...again. And on the bad days, there has only been a couple, I just can't stop crying. I've been to a psychologist but found that didn't help. I just don't know if what I'm feeling is normal post pregnancy hormones, sleep deprivation and coping with a tough situation or if it's something more.
6 Replies
How many times did you see the psychologist? It takes more than 3 appointments to get something out of it.
I'd speak to my GP if I was you. Good luck
Thank you for your help. I saw the gp. And he agreed with some meds. I don't think this particular psychologist was for me, however maybe I should trial some more. Thanks again
Your hormones can be all over the place for a few months, but I think it may be worthwhile having a chat with your gp.
For me, I felt like I was on a roller-coaster - I found it difficult to be happy, couldn't talk to people (even husband), felt so alienated and alone, and (although I wasn't but I just felt so lost) I just felt like all I did was yell at the kids. And I did want to hurt myself.
After a year of spiralling downhill I saw my gp and have been taking anti-depressants for 2 yrs now.
I still find it difficult to talk about, but I can (every now and then) talk to hubby. And now I go out with other school mums to coffee for an hour or so a week which helps.
Thanks for responding. The fear and aloneness is so true. Never wanting to leave the house. I had the chat with my gp, and he agreed to start some tablets. Thanks fellow mumma
I felt happy and social...but exhausted, lazy, cranky, with wild mood swings at the same time. I couldn't face cleaning so I spent a lot of time out and about. I felt like my brain power was cut in half, I couldn't concentrate or remember anything and I wanted nothing to do with my husband.
I went to the gp to get a hormone panel and he said he didn't think that was the problem. he asked me to trial a mild antidepressant for 4 weeks instead. I feel amazing, so much energy, less muddled and my husband is much less neglected lol its even much easier to deal when Mr 8mths won't sleep (I made it all the way to 5am the other day before I lost my cool)
its easy to rationalise all the symptoms but it's so much better when they don't exist. Please go and talk to your gp before it gets worse xx
Thank you for taking the time to help. I kept thinking it was hormonal. But I did get worse. It wasn't until I was bordering on suicidal that I realised I wasn't me. And your right. The antidepressants made things so so much better. And for my husband too. Even if the tablets are just for a while, to get over the hump.