How do I bond with my twins?
My twins are 5 months old and I've never bonded with them.
We've had major issues with their sleeping and health they fuss and cry all day it's hard to keep up with the demands.
I suffer from PPD and just can't seem to bond with them... I love them but when they are gone to their dads house for a day or I've left them with their nana I don't really want to go back home... I could see myself living without them as I don't have any sort of emotional connection to them.
How do I overcome this?
I feel like they would be better off with their dad some days.
Bonding with twins?
Bonding with twins?
Posted in:
Mental Health, Post Natal Depression, Parenthood Guilt
2 Replies
I believe you need to not be so hard on yourself! 1 baby is hard work, and when that 1 baby is crying/fussy/doesn't sleep breaks away can feel like you one the lottery. So times that by 2 as a single mum, I can't even imagine.
Do you get the opportunity to spend time with your babies when there are two adults? Do you get time to hang out at there nanas and just play with one while nana looks after the other?
Have you considered daycare one day a week to give you more time to be you?
It's really hard to bond with anyone when you are exhausted, and stretched too thin.
I had twins and an 18mth old... It's tough. My girls were also sick so they cried A LOT. Allow yourself to accept it's tough and its o.k. to be 'relieved' when you get time to yourself. Accept help, you need it with multiples, and it honestly helps you relax enough to enjoy being with them.
I felt a stronger bond with one of my twins over the other and I knew this so I made a point of making sure I sat alone with her (when she was relaxed and calm!) so we could just cuddle. When she was ready for bed, and nice and calm, I would sit with her in her room, in the dark, and just cuddle her. I made sure I did this for a couple of weeks until we both felt comfortable with each other.
Hang in there, it gets better (not always easier, just better; easier to manage). But do accept help, I couldn't have done it without help.