How do I explain to a 3 year old that poppy passed away?

Anonymous

How do I explain to a 3 year old that poppy passed away?

Hi ladies,
Recently I lost my father due to being very ill, I'm trying to come to terms with everything that's going on, I have a 3 year old son and he keeps asking where is pop mum? And I tried to brush it off for a few days. (I realise that it wasn't the ideal thing to do but I just didn't know what to say?) well from yesterday he just keep asking for him, so I decided to tell him that poppy is in heaven watching over us and he just constantly cries, and then I cry and carnt stop! I honestly thought I'd cope with everything ok, but it's just getting harder and harder every day. Sorry this is probably all confusing and messed up, I guess what I'm trying to ask, has anyone else went through this? And how did u handle the situation trying to explain everything? How did u try and be strong for your kids when your crumbling inside day by day? And is me telling my son that he has went to heaven the best thing? Or should of I said it abit more understanding for his age? Please help me! Every thing I say feels like im saying things wrong I need guidance right now! Thanks ladies

Posted in:  Loss & Grief, Helping others through Grief

2 Replies

Anonymous

Maybe explaining that when people get old, their bodies wear out and one day stop working, and they then go to heaven. Obviously done carefully so your little one doesn't then think that you are going to pass away as well. Keep it simple, but include him, they understand more than what you realise. And it is okay for you to be sad, it is part of the process, and a hug from a three year old who can see that you are sad can be a great thing. All the best.

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Anonymous

When my daughter was 3 my fil died, after along battle with cancer. When he died my daughter was at my parents place i came to get her told her grandad had died because he was very sick and its ok to be sad because we love and miss him. She was upset and cried we both cried. A family friend made a photo of grandad and her together that was framed and put in her room. She still talks about him every so often but iam glad that we where straight up with her. She now shows a maturity about death that other children her age dont show shes now 9yrs old.

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