Feeling very drained atm and just need to vent.
I had court today against my abusive ex, i took out a vro and he was there to object to it. I agreed to an undertaking and he declined! Im so confused..
An undertaking is were we promise the court not to have any contact with each other, if we break it then it's not law enforceable but if i go back go court i wont have trouble getting a proper vro.
I just dont understand.... why would he say no!! I didn't even expect him to show up!!
He named dropped his lawyer in court and it's the same one that got him off a rape charge a few years ago. Im feeling very intimidated.
The rape charge is from an ex years ago. She did exactly what i have done...
I never believed it.. but now i dont know what to believe. She claimed he used to hit her aswell.
I dont know if he actually raped her but i now understand the great lengths she had to go to just to escape him.
I just don't get why he is trying so hard to get off a vro charge when he wont even bother starting mediation to see our daughter.
I'm exhausted i feel like i have tried so hard for him to see her and he doesn't care. It hurts. My daughter is under a year old so thankfully she doesn't notice.
He is currently going to court to try and grt visitation with his other daughter. Maybe thats why he wont accept the vro?... maybe it would effect his chances some how.
He hasnt seen that daughter in years.
I just dont know what to think. Why has he gotten a hot shot lawyer? Why has he made this soooo difficult..... ??
The next date is now in 6 months so at least ill have avro till then. ?
I just dont get the point of all this! How could he be trying to use agaisnt me.
5 Replies
Because it is what abusers do!
My sisters ex tried all sorts of shit like this. They just love to make things difficult for you.
Im so scared about the court case. I dont have any solid evidence.
I have a timeline of the abuse and reported the last incident to the cops but they didn't lay chargers.
I didn't take any photos but my friends knew how controlling he was of everything.
Did ur sister get an vro taken out? How much evidence do i need??
Yes she did get it. I don't think she had any evidence other than her testimony
Why are you trying so hard for him to see her?? He's an abuser with rape allegations behind him (always safer to assume the allegations are true!!!) do you seriously want your daughter alone with him?????
My sister got dragged through court by her ex and it went on for four years and he is still able to harass her. I hope you are seeing a DV counsellor/psychologist and if not please consider it, as sometimes they can help when the abuse is mentioned in the future as they take notes and it may also be useful if he tries to force contact with your daughter. Try to diarise all contact going forward, try to put it via email or written text and not verbally over the phone or in person that way you have proof. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you but you need to be vigilante as exhausted as you already feel in trying to build a case. If you spoke to friends or family when the abuse occurred or there were any witnesses they may also do affidavits to support you x