Really hoping for some advice on how to help my closest friend as she is struggling to reach out on her own.
She had her beautiful bub 5 months ago, since then she has been really down. Shes struggling with the identity/label of mum! Missing parts of her old life and struggling to adjust. She adores her baby and is so amazing with her! But she spends most days home crying. Her partner works 5 days a week and as soon as he walks in the door doesn't pitch in at all. He doesn't lift a finger around the house, doesn't bath, feed or dress the baby (This goes for weekends too). He does his hobbies every weekend and gets pissed with his friends most thursday and friday nights. After a few months of this and her literally crying in my arms, she finally opened up to him last night. His reponse was that his not a cleaner and he is busy when shes doing things with the baby. She mentioned PPD depression - which was huge for her and he just 'recommended' she speak to a friend.Tonight i got a call from her in tears saying she wants to run away and doesnt want to do it anymore, he made her go out to do a few things today after she had already mentioned she would love a break for a couple of hours but no, apparently she had to go out.. Her bubs was overdue for a nap by a couple of hours so screamed all the way home then as soon as they got home she settled her and finally got her asleep then her partner says his going next door for drinks, leaving her there alone. She has tried opening up to him so many times but he shuts her down and essentially throws it back in her face. I have no idea what advice to offer her but going to stay with her parents so she can have a break and get some help with bubs.There is more to the story but i dont want it to be too lengthy!
d**khead partner - broken mum.
d**khead partner - broken mum.
Posted in:
Mental Health, Post Natal Depression
3 Replies
I think u need to recommend and possibly if u can go with her to a doctor for a mental health plan. She may not have pnd but it could be an adjustment disorder. Her partner sounds like a total dick. He needs to step up and take some responsiblity for the baby...he is a dad now not a single man. Sometimes it takes someone outside the relationship to make them realise how much of an ass they are being. Someone close to him ie a family member, a close friend. If she does get diagnosed with post natal maybe even you could say something to him. Even though my hubby was/is very supportitve he didnt realise just tinee things he would say or do would get me down until my sister really explained what I was going through. You sound like an amazing friend please keep being there for her cause unless he mans up it isnt going to last and she will most definetly need a supportive friend. I wish her luck
Thankyou so much for your response! I have discussed this with her, however she sees it as regression. She has suffered depression before after an assault and it took her 7 years of counselling and antidepressants to come out the other side. So she feels that if she is to start seeing someone again, it would mean she is back to that same place she was many years ago? & to her that means she has failed. Its so hard to that i cant click my fingers and have my happy best friend back! hopefully her partner will wake up to himself soon because its just getting ridiculous
She needs to see a dr about the ppd. And her parter needs to step up and start living the daddy life instead of the party life.