How do people deal with the feeling of being overwhelmed with being a stay at home mum?
My partner works full time including overtime so we can get in front financially, as his ex is bleeding us dry.
So I'm at home alone every day with our 1 year old daughter, or house is on the market so it really should be kept tidy etc but i just find that i don't have the time, energy or motivation to get any thing done. I end up getting really emotional when i can't get every little thing on my huge list done each day. My partner is extremely supportive of me and doesn't expect everything to be spotless or done every day. I have post natal depression which I'm being treated for but lately I'm struggling with the fact I'm not working anymore, so I feel like I'm not contributing.
I don't even know what I'm asking really..
I'm just feeling very over whelmed
4 Replies
It sounds to me like youre struggling financially. You seem to be blaming his ex but reality is he needs to pay its one of his bills - you need to arrange your selves financially to deal with it, then you wont feel this stress and pressure to be working too.
Its hard now your baby is already here. You have two choices. Change your lifestyle to bring down your bills so you are living happily. Or b ride it out, set yourself a time frame like one year to be home, then ride it out stop trying to get ahead take the pressure off yourself and just know in one year it will all be ok, for now you choose to be with your baby.
Could you find a part time job? I found getting out of the house and mixing with other adults a god send. I worked three days a week and I found the other 2 days was more quality with my child as I felt more myself. Some people just aren't cut out to be SAHMs (including me). Also, the comment about bleeding you dry, try to imagine this, you are parenting your daughter on your own, still have to maintain a house, put food on the table, pay for school books, extra curricular activities, everything, all on your own, without your husband. The way child support is set up (unless hubby is earning an exorbitant wage), doesn't bleed anyone dry. I can tell you now, the cost of raising a child, the day in and day out costs, is usually a lot more than half the non custodial parent pays. Anyway, that's my 2 cents worth. I hope your house sells quickly, I absolutely know the pressure of keep a house clean whilst on the market, I had a 2 year old at the time, it sux.
Sorry i never ment about the child support, as i would never take anything away from those kids. I was a single mum before meeting my partner and know what is like.
It's more that the financial settlement has not been completed yet (she is still arguing) so my partner still has all her credit card debt she racked up before she left, plus her car loan (that we can't stop paying) all the bills she didn't pay, etc etc.
Just hang in there until financial settlement and house is sold, I am sure things will turn around when you don't have that weight on your shoulders xxx