my husband and I have 2 children under 7. We eventually want another one in a few years, but I have family who keeps asking and saying I hope you guys are not going to have anymore. We just nod and agree, my siblings already have more than us, so why cant we have more? I am not gonna get pregnant in the next 2 years, but soon will be.
8 Replies
Ignore them and do what you like!
Why would they say that? Are you under financial strain, relationship issues, do they support you? Do you give them an idea its not what you really want? Do you complain to them?
Its really not their business and quite an awful thing to say if its just their own judgment. I would tell them not to say it again.
I remember feeling this way about my sister. To the outside world her relationship was very toxic, the kids she had were suffering for it and they were very reliant on family for childcare, financial help, and on several occasions we had to have workong bees to clear out there house!
As far as I can see it if you can financially afford it, your relationship is good, and you are doing it on your own its nobodies business. If you are whinging about a crappy relationship, complaining about money, or are reliant on family for help, then rightly or wrongly they are going to feel entitled to an opinion.
Agree . Is there more to this story ? Were u sick during pregnancy ? Have health issues ? Pregnancy risk ? Financial issues ? Struggle with depression ? Relationship issues ? Kids development issues ? Is your age something they are worried about ? If they think you shouldn't have more maybe it's because they are worried about something for you ? Or how you might cope ?
Maybe if someone says it again ask them why they feel that way ?
My sister in laws sister in law questioned my need/want to have a baby to my partner. I have 3 kids to my ex and we'll be going through IVF to have one of our own in the next few years. I didn't let her know that. If you are financially stable, your relationship is going and you don't fight and argue, you don't require any one else to care for your children and you don't whinge about the kids you do have the go for it and don't care about what any one else is thinking or feeling. I dont. I actually laughed and said to this lady. "Why wouldn't I go back for more, I love being a mum" besides her neice and nephew need some cousins on my partners side and I'm sure his parents aren't going to object to having more grandies.
So why can't you have more children? If it bothers you that much ask them what exactly they mean by it instead of nodding.
No offence, but unless you have a toxic family there is usually a reason behind their attitude, you can only ask and find out why. Maybe they have concerns about your relationship, financial position or it could just be as simple as them being past the baby stage and see it as a whole lot of work for you. I am past the baby stage and sometimes I see a mum with a new born and a toddler and feel tired for her, but you don't when you are young you don't see like that!
I hear you so so much. Why can't we?! What difference does it make to anyone other than us and our partners/husbands!!
We have 4 combined but none together. What makes us terrible people for wanting more? No advice but I got your back!!!