Hey everyone,
I have had a lot of issues with my 3 year old in the last year or so with his behavior being really eratic and him not being able to understand me properly for us to communicate well. Turns out he has some hearing issues which will be assessed by a ENT specialist next march. The issue im having right now is he will be 4 in march and he is still in nappies!! ? i have been trying since he was 2 to get him to understand how to use the toilet i have tried different techniques, different potty seats and even rewards charts but since he was unable to fully understand what i was putting across to him it would just be a huge disaster. So now i feel as though he is ready he knows full well how to pull his pants down, sit on the toilet and do a wee, wipe with toilet paper and flush the toilet. He understands when i tell him i its time for a wee but its such a huge drama sometimes. Generally he will cooperate but half the time its a huge protest and i have to try bribe him. He still hasnt done a number 2 and every time we try he says its stuck (its not) because one day he said this and 5 mins later after i put on a fresh nappy he did a poo. I guess he isnt comfortable doing it on the toilet yet. Im just panicking that he wont be fully trained before he is 4 and im so scared of being judged by everyone and being called lazy. Because im not he is just hasnt been ready or hes just not cooperating. Some suggestions would be good because i feel as though ive tried it all. On a side note he has started at a centre which has the little kid toilets and the first day he used the toilet 3 times and then i noticed they were using all his nappies again and i asked them what was happening and they said he just didn't want to go. Im not sure if its him or them not encouraging. (I know its not their job to toilet train him but before he started i mentioned he wasnt fully trained and they offered to assist as they have kids in all stages of training).
Suggestions for toilet training
Suggestions for toilet training
Posted in:
Baby & Toddler, Potty Training
4 Replies
I've got to ask has he had a developmental assessment yet?
With kids I work with who have developmental delays we used to make nappies only available in the toilet. So the child could use the nappy as long as they stayed in the toilet 'room' usually they'd realise that they might as well go to the toilet and staying in the toilet was really boring! Or we would just take the nappies away. If they aren't available what does he do? Does he just hold on? What does he do when he has accidents?
Honestly it doesn't sound like that centre is in his best interests, if your priority is toilet training.
We will be getting his 'other' areas assessed once the ears are sorted. This is what ive been advised to do by our dr. I have tried just putting him im underwear and frequently asking if he needed to wee to prevent accidents. He had 2 accidents in one day the first i really think was an accident the second time he literally stood next to me and wet himself on the carpet literally one minute after i asked him if he needed to go. One min hes interested next min hes not ?
Does he know when he is about to wee. Some kids literally don't understand what it feels like when they need to go. A lot of kids need to be taught that step. Which is whi accidents happen when toilet training. Plus it's quite common to have accidents when they are distracted by play/activity for a long time.
You could try a pants alarm. It basically sets off an alarm when the child leaks a few drops of pee. Teaching them WHEN to go. I've had quite a lot of success with them. Of course they don't work for poos. Poos on the toilet can take 3-6 months to come after wee for a lot of kids. Usually the first few happen by accident while peeing while sitting down.
My daughter was well over 3 before she was even interested in using the toilet then it just clicked. It is actually quite (dare I say it) "normal" and age appropriate to not be using the toilet at his age and many boys are much closer to 4 before they get it. And that's for children who aren't experiencing other issues. I say back off him. Don't stress. It's not a reflection of your parenting when your child hits their milestones. It's not something you can force.