Hi there ladies,
In need of some advice... Or help...
My little one is two in a month, my husband and I always had planned that when she turned two we would try for baby number two. I am scared. I want to have another child a hell of a lot, but I am scared I will fail both of my children if I do.
I had post natal depression with my first, I put on a fair bit of weight, really struggled to get it off despite eating healthy and working out. I'm still a good 5 kilos off where I'd like to be.. I also had hypermesis when I was pregnant which also causes a bit of anxiety because I'm really worried about how I'm going to look after my toddler and be sick like that. My husband is awesome but he works 6 days a week.
Along with all of that I had a bit of a hemohrage after I had my first, only a litre of blood, no transfusion required. But I felt like death. I'm sure I was going to feel like doing star jumps, but for weeks I felt like I was doing to fall apart at any second.
But what really worries me is how consumed I became with my weight and how I looked. I am/ never would be someone with an eating disorder, but putting on that weight made me crazy. I would cry every time I looked in the mirror. I put on about 15kg ( this was well and truly after baby was born). I've lost 12/13kg. But I am scared of going back to that place where I am miserable about myself and not enjoying my kids. I used to spend hours just crying about how I looked and felt. I would avoid going out, seeing family and friends, I didn't want anyone to see me. I really isolated myself from everyone.
People have told me the second baby is the hardest to get rid of weight a which makes me worry More!
I feel like such a drama queen writing this, and in the big scale of things - it's nothing. But I honestly can't help how my mind is thinking. Putting on that weight literally consumed me. I was in such a dark place for so long. Can anyone give me some advice or share similar experiences?
3 Replies
Have you ever had any coubselling around your issues? Sometimes because we have a history of something it means we can do the work to help prevent or minimise it.
It does sound like you have some body image issues that you could work on with a psychologist.
Do you have any friends or family that could help out with your little one if you do get hypermesis? Or are you prepared to access daycare or can you afford some home help?
Write a list of your concerns and research solutions.
As to the labour part. This is your second child, now you have a history the Drs will be more prepared this time.
The benefit of already having a baby is you know what to expect. Talk to your husband, your family, your doctor. Do your research and try and come up with solutions.
As for the weight, I put on 22kg with my first baby. My second is due any day now and I've only put on 8kg and that's without trying. I'm just a lot more active chasing around a toddler as well!
Every pregnancy is different, I've found second time around a lot easier with knowing what to expect and planning for it
I would suggest seeing a counselor too see if you can get some strategies in place around your self image stuff because pregnancy does = weight BUT there's fluid retention , baby and amniotic fluid to consider during pregnancy and if your already anxious about it before it's happening I may watch it closer ! Get some strategies before you dive in !
As for the hg in pregnancy it can be really hard ! I had it for all 3 of mine too . Surprisingly my 2nd was the best of the 3 - I didn't vomit as much and didn't lose as much weight ! Having a younger toddler was actually beneficial in that scenario as they are more happy to play around you as you lay on the floor of the lounge or I spent lots of time sitting on the grass in the backyard while he played around me . It's a time that you have to just take each hour as it comes sometimes and remember that it will pass and there's a wonderful prize at the end !! There are some great Facebook support pages for hg that are worth checking out if it does happen again !