Losing both parents

Anonymous

Losing both parents

Hey sisterhood,

So I have been putting this aside for awhile now. I need help big time with grief! I have lost both of my parents to cancer with a timeframe of 3 years & 9 months of each other. My dad went first at aged 53 & my mother was 55. (I'm currently 31 & have 2 children) I don't even know what I'm trying to say/ask. But how do you allow yourself to grieve? I keep pushing it away because I need to be 'stable' to look after my children (6 & 2). My fiancée is wonderful however he has not experienced what I have & I really don't want to turn to him as I'm not sure he would have the right things to say. He is more the type to hold me. The day of my fathers funeral I cried my lungs out, I asked for god to take me instead. The day of my mothers funeral, as they were lowering her casket, I felt NOTHING! I didn't cry! And her 1 year anniversary will be coming up in March. How does one parent without parents? My father went when my eldest was only 15 months, my mother got to meet both my children. However they won't remember her much. Again, I don't know what I'm trying to ask, but what can I do to speed the grieving along? As I haven't dealt with either death. Please help!

Posted in:  Loss & Grief

3 Replies

Anonymous

Have you ever seen a grief counsellor? Sorry I have no experience in what you are truly going through I just know my grandmother found a grief counsellor very helpful when grandpa died.

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Anonymous

Sorry iam not able to give you advice but i am so sorry for your loss, one of my worst fears is losing my parents i couldnt imagine what you are going through, sending you hugs xo

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Anonymous

I was 9 when my mum passed away and my dad left us on my grandparents door step a couple of months later. I'm now 24 with 3 young children and I wish my mum was here everyday to help, support and see my kids. I grieved for my mum again when I had my first born. I definitely know it's not the same but reach out to other women in your family who have rasied children and ask them for parenting advice I do this with my aunties, cousin and step mother in law. If you feel you aren't doing what you're supposed to do emotionally maybe seek a councillor. If it's possible maybe get someone to watch your children if you don't want to breakdown in grief in front of them you maybe need time to yourself to come to terms with what has happened in such a sort time.

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