I need help. several weeks ago me and the kids moved away from their dad. We had his permission originally and stupidily I didn't get it in writing now every argument always includes how I took off with HIS kids. Long story short I didn't see a lawyer straight away as he kept playing mind games and it sounded like we might be able work things out. Well things are def far from that and hes demanding today when he can pick the kids up for the whole holidays. I'm freaking out what to do. I have no money to see a private lawyer and can't get into legal aide until late next week.
I don't want the kids not to see him but I'm freaking out about him not returning them which he has theatened a few times in the past to do to me. One of my kids has expressed not wanting to go unless I can garauntee they'll come back. I'm seriously concerned about his current mental health and how he's treated lately and justifies it.
Legal aide over the phone doesn't sound like they are going to be much help to me getting things drafted just more going to give me advice on property settlement. What would you do?
3 Replies
This is just my opinion and I have no legal education:
If the kids are expressing that they don't want to go, don't send them. The whole holidays is a bit much, even if you had parenting orders chances are they would only be with him for half the holidays, depending on the circumstances. Don't do anything until you speak to legal aide.
Document everything, write down the dates you talked about moving, what you said and what he said, keep all texts and phone call logs and what they were about. Only talk about the kids and try to keep emotions out of it (easier said than done I know)
I would only allow supervised visits until you have orders in place. At least one of your children is scared to be taken away from their mother, that's reason enough to not allow him the opportunity to do so. It is never wrong to try to protect your children. If you are concerned that his mental health will affect the children, it can be just as damaging as drug abuse and physical violence to a child, so always follow your gut.
DO NOT LET THEM GO! Don't let them go without orders in place! Apply for mediation now and if you can come to an agreement in mediation get it lodged through the courts as a parental plan isn't legally binding.
I made the mistake of letting my kids stay with their dad with no orders in place, he took them and it took 6months to track them down to start court proceedings, because of the length of time and them being eatablished in schools etc it was ruled as the kids needing to maintain stability at this time and he has them still, he has since moved back to my home town now that he has custody and I see them every 2nd weekend and half of school holidays. The kids and I all find it incredibly hard. As soon as they are old enough to express their preference in court I will be going back to court.
Go straight to the courthouse nearest you and file for interim custody until you can get it sorted out in the long term.