Please keep me anonymous!
My husband used to be kind, caring, sweet and thoughtful.
My mother died 2 years ago and since then he has changed completely.
I suffered with severe depression after her death, and still do although I'm well now after medication and therapy.
My husband has also been diagnosed with depression in the past 2 years.
My issue is that he has become a very angry man. He has become cynical, hurtful, sarcastic, entitled, confrontational and there is an underlying irritability to his demeanor now 24/7.
He no longer drinks alcohol because he was getting wasted and I couldn't leave the children to go to work (I work night shifts). I told him to stop drinking or get out... He stopped drinking
I have managed to get him to stop yelling and screaming at me and the kids but I feel like I will never get back the man that I married.
It has hurt me so deeply (it's been going on 2 years now) that I don't even know if I still love him!
He takes no responsibility for his mental health (I've made all his doctors appointments, organized work, monitor his medications) but it's come to a stage where I can't do anything more for him... Everything else are things he has to do for himself eg. See a psychologist, exercise, work on things that make him feel good.
And now that this is the case he is blaming me for not supporting him. He never has anything nice to say to me, comes home from works and lays on the couch watching tv until we all go to bed at night.
We don't do anything together and I can't talk to him about how I feel because if I bring it up, he gets angry and blames me for not spending time with him or not supporting him.
I don't want my kids to grow up in a broken home and I believe that they need the father that he used to be.
Has anyone been through something like this and were you able to turn it around and get your family back on track?
3 Replies
They are currently living in a broken home. I'm not saying you have to leave, but you have to take into account that your children need respite from the situation. Leaving so the kids can have one calm, healthy home and visit dad in small doses will be better for then psychologically.
And to be specific, you should try harder to get your kids in a healthy home, not try harder to help a man child.
I'd like you to know that your husband can change, it's possible to get your marriage back, the father your children deserve.
My husband is living proof.
We were together for 9 years with two girls, out of the blue my husband exhibited all of what you've mentioned your husband is going. All of it.
Hubby sort help at my insistence. He attended this group for 2.5years, the facilitators brought my husband back to us.
We were apart for that time but we are together again, we are happy and we have tools to use to help us for ever.
I hope you find what is best for you all.
Look after yourself x