My house is a mess ?
How does everyone keep their homes not looking like a dump field?
I'm a single mum to one pre-teen. I cannot find the energy or time to keep our house looking neat. I don't want it to look like a display home ((if only)) but just to keep it neat and tidy.
I work part-time, study full-time at uni and volunteer at a youth centre once a week. Work isn't that stressful just time consuming but uni is extremely stressful (on campus 20 hours a week) then study at home all the time.
My home is revoltingly dirty. Each time I look at it I cry and have no idea where to start. Please don't judge me I feel I'm doing all I can and I'm stuck where to begin. My child is extremely helpful and will do it without a complaining.
What helps you in getting ahead in your household chores? Anything is helpful at this stage for me.
I have a few mountains of clothing to fold. The dishes are dirty ? vacuuming and mopping need to be done. I've got a few unopened boxes to sort out (moved into new place a few months ago) and it just feels like a feral house to live in.
Despite the house is dirty. My child's room is neat. Bed is made, floors are clean, clothes are away etc, I made effort there just loose interest in the rest of the house.
No excuses for this and I can only blame myself. I know for sure I'm overcommiting myself in everything I'm doing, I'm just stuck. Depression and anxiety is through the roof ATM. Only assuming if my house was in better order my depression and anxiety may feel a tad at ease.
Please be kind. I'm not one who seeks help for this sort of thing, as I'm such a private person. I'm just reaching out as I feel I haven't helped in anyway and cannot figure out where to start.
I feel like I've failed my child on so many levels already and having an uncleaned house is a tip on the iceburge. House is a disaster ? please help me.
TIA
7 Replies
I went through a period like this three years ago. I understand.
What I did was get three cheap containers or washing baskets. I decided to start in the loungeroom.
Each basket was designated a label. 1. Keep but find a place for
2. Donate
3. Throw
I committed to filling those baskets once a week. It would take about 1/2 hour to fill them. The throw stuff would go straight in the bin, the donate went in the back of the car so when I drove past a charity I could just stop and drop. The keep I'd wander around the house putting the belongings where they Should have been. Over time things seemed much easier. Once I got momentum going I found myself doing more and because the clutter was decreasing I could actually clean in a short period of time..
Get your preteen involved in this. My son has multiple disabilities and he has pulled his weight since primary school. Teach your child how to value themselves and there possessions by valuing your posessions and environment.
If you don't value yourself enough then get yourself in to see a psychologist. They can help with this.
Sounds like its overwhelming and you need a workimg bee or pay cleaners to get you back to a good start.
Then just do the daily and weekly tasks that need to be done and you need to schedule in the big ones and make time or pay someone so that you dont get swamped again.
i do understand with work and uni, but you need to schedule a clean house (evenly vaguely clean) into your time management.
I have one 'big thing' I do each day of the week (Monday is bedsheets, Tuesday vacume and mop, Wednesday is clean the bathroom etc) and then at night do a run around and put away bits and bobs laying around and make sure I have a clean kitchen. Starting with a messy house is always the hardest - do you have your mum or a friend that could come and help? Or on a weekend I'll just turn the music up, pick a room and get that clean before moving on to the next. I really like the basket idea that someone else posted. I'll be keeping that in mind for when my kids are a bit older!
Start incorporating cleaning into your everyday ritual. Clean the shower while your in there. Fold the clothes while you watch TV. I find if I clean first up in the morning I have more energy and my day seems more organised. Maybe with school and uni holidays coming up you and your child can do a cleaning bee to get things under control. Give your child chores like cleaning the dishes at the end of the day. Maybe one of you can vacuum and the other can mop right behind. Do one room at a time and you will feel more accomplished. The big thing is to learn to clean up after yourself straight away and get into a rythem. For me I leave a cleaning caddy in each bathroom so I can just grab and go if I have a couple of spare minutes. Leave the toilet cleaner next to the toilet so you can clean that regularly. Fill the sink up while you make your coffee so you can wash the breakfast dishes straight away.
With three kids under five I found it really hard to keep up with house work also. I started doing one extra job everyday with my normal household chores. Mondays - fold and put away all washing, Tuesday- all floors etc etc. and didn't stress about the rest. I'm sure you are doing a great job raising your child and there will be plenty for clean houses when they get older
Invite someone over. It's my simplest way of forcing myself to clean. I would be mortified if people saw my house in a feral state (and it gets that way frequently). So I end up in a cleaning frenzy and suddenly I find the time and motivation to put the washing away, clean the bathroom and the floors. And in the process of vacuuming etc, I usually find myself tidying up and wiping surfaces as I go, so the house is at least at an acceptable standard for others to see. Never a showroom, but that's fine with me.
You have taken on a lot of work and it's normal too feel overwhelmed. I worked part-time and studying part-time Uni and found it too hard time wise so I quit. My first born was due soon after I started Uni and I wouldn't of coped. So you are doing an amazing job mum you have not failed. Keep going, please take a few days off work if you can and have a catch up day. Write out a time table of time gaps you have in the work days and days off where you can get housework done. I clean the shower when I am showering and wash up dishes while I am cooking dinner. Clean toilet after I have finished ( keep cleaners in shower and toilet shelves so you can quickly grab them) I clean toilet with the toilet paper quick and easy. Take magnesium, Zinc and B vitamins to help with stress and vitality. Put your favourite music on to get you motivated to clean.