I'm constantly shamed by people for not terminating my pregnancy 2 years ago.
Why do people pass judgemental hate towards women for wanting to keep the pregnancy though the male doesn't? when people question why I'm still not with my ex partner (children's dad) I only tell them minimal detail as to why and I'm made out to be this evil person?
How is it anyone's business to judge my choices in life.
I'm not ashamed of my choices, we have wonderful babies and a happy life.
My story goes like this -
My ex partner and I werent together long when I fell pregnant with multiples. As it would of been a shock to even a family that were trying to fall pregnant even more so a couple that barely new each other.
My beliefs are to not terminate, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I had more than one fetus growing inside of me. My ex... he didn't want to keep the babies.
We tried to sort out our differences for 2 months, but it was clear we both couldn't decide what the right choice was so I packed up and left and told him he was more than welcome to come back anytime to step up to the role if he felt necessary but I will do it on my own. I did. For the rest of the pregnancy. He came back at the birth. And never left. He loves our children and we are happy and co parent easily. We stayed friends for our children!
But I'm still judged by a lot of people for keeping my pregnancy and it makes me feel guilty. I can't see myself without my
Children and I love them dearly but when people talk to me about having a choice I should of taken... it makes me wonder where I would be if I didn't have my children and where would my ex be. My children have to live with a broken family and my family dreams didn't go as planned.
I ask myself did this ruin our lives even though it doesn't feel like i did...
It's a mind boggling guilt I live with and replay in my head over and over when people ask me why didn't I abort...
I don't want my children to ever feel like they were a mistake.
They were meant to be here! With me!
People need to realise
that people are fighting a battle you know nothing about.
This is a reminder especially for readers of the forum too.
Simple words can hurt.
So be Be kind, always.
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
6 Replies
I've only ever heard of people being judged for aborting. Stop worrying what other people are saying
I have to say I've literally never known anyone to be shamed for not aborting no matter whether they're not single or not...I wouldn't let it get to you, I think if you did abort you'd get judged a lot worse.
Are you sure it's not in your head? Only an evil person, looking at your beautiful twins could imply you should have terminated.
I'm sorry that people have shamed you, though it sounds like you need to be surrounded by different people! No one needs that toxicity in their life.
Be proud of your choices and that you have two healthy little ones, don't be afraid to tell people your situation. For me, I would be very interested in being told that however I also wouldn't know the right words to say at the time because what can you say that won't sound, horrible? Like, I would say that's great you chose to keep the kids and there's no judgement from me, but would that be interpreted as though I suspect you did consider terminating them. If that makes sense.
Continue being the fabulous parents you both sound like you are!
This is really bizarre. I've only heard of people getting judged for aborting not for keeping the baby :/
I think you should hang around different people...
I copped hell from my parents when they found out I was pregnant again. Lectured me on why I didn't get an abortion.
Long story short, my partner and I separated and just after this we found out I was expecting our second. According to my own parents I was making a huge mistake, and essentially f***ing up my life. (I'll note partner and I had remained separated for 6 months but we've since worked out our issues and have rekindled.)
So I can understand being told to abort and having people question why you're going through with it. All I can think to say is "why is it anyine else's business?". With that said, I'm due with this bub in a couple weeks and can say that should anyone still ask me why I went through with it, they won't like my answer because I won't be nice about my response.
It amazes me that someone could have the nerve to question why you chose to go through it all, especially after said child has been well and truly born. But I'm guessing the same people wouldn't dare look that child in the eye and tell them they believe their mum should've terminated them when pregnant.