Just wondering if this is just me or others are the same. I hate pregnancy, i dont enjoy newborns (i find them cute but dont do well with constant lack of sleep and feedings), lack if sleep makes me a monster. i do not enjoy the toddler years. When the child turns 4 i love it, communication is better and independency is better, i still struggle but less. I think the constant dependency for everything is what i struggle with. Which makes me feel like im selfish. My problem is i want more children but freak out about the tough first years of life. I had AND and PND with my first, i fear for it to happen again. The older the child the better i can bond but a part of me holds back in having more children because of those first years. My husband is amazing and helps so much and he loves babies but i still burn out and need time out often to recharge with a little one. even with my first child i chant to myself when he tantrums "the best part is that children grow". I want children because i want older kids. Sometimes I feel like a horrible mother for not enjoying his first years as much. I bond with my child, play with him, nurture him, i do all the right things but struggle big time. Maybe i shouldnt have more kids ... but i so want to have older kids, take them to the movies, watch them at sports, listen to them tell me about their awesome day at school, have a family night, christmas... i dream of all the fun we'll have when they're older. I even love messy hormonal teenagers.
10 Replies
I have different ages that I prefer. New borns are cute but I don't like breastfeeding and I prefer when kids can talk and do things.
This is me too. Its really important to spend the money in the right places to keep your sanity through the early years. Its just not my thing either. Theres nothing wrong with that, youre choosing a child I think thats smarter than wanting a baby anyway.
You sound so much healthier and realistic than the women who loveeeeeee babies, keep popping them out, but don't really love children and don't give them the attention when they are older (I watched a show on it). I think you should have another but have a plan so you don't burn out, it is so much easier when you aren't exhausted and you sound like you have an awesome partner.
I agree and know a couple of people who fit this category. Other family members had to step in and raise the children while they continue to have babies. It's so sad.
Plus they are only babies for a short time, they are kids forever lol Judging by the other comments, turns out IM you are very normal and a lot of us feel this way, it's just that the clucky ones are louder ???
Have you thought of fostering? There are plenty of older children wishing they had a good home to go to.
Honestly right now I am HATING the toddler years! I have a school aged child and a 2 year old. With my school aged child we talk about science, we go places like museums and art galleries and the movies. With my 2 year old all she does is scream at me. She screams because she's hungry but refuses anything I give her, screams because I take it away, screams because she wants to jump on me, screams because she is breathing it drives me nuts!!! I definitely enjoy older kids a lot more and can't wait until my toddler is older too.
Oh my lord me to!!! Times two, yep, toddler twins. F me a it's hard bloody work!! I have a 5 year old as well and I swear he wasn't this much work!! Might be a twin thing, competition or something..... The other night I locked myself outside and called a friend and bawled like a baby I was just SO overwhelmed!!
Oh my gosh I couldn't even imagine 2 of my toddlers she already feels like 4 kids in one...I am sending you a lot of strength! I am just so overwhelmed and she is so good for everyone else except me!!! I took my oldest out to a playdate and my youngest stayed with her dad and when I got home he said she slept the whole time! Wtf?! She NEVER sleeps for me anymore. Everyone someone else has her it's "Oh what an angel" all she does with me is scream and make mess after mess after mess.
This is me to a T. Id give serious thought to foster or adoption. If I wasnt a single parent thats what Id do.