I'm 5 months into my second pregnancy.
My first child is disabled both physically and mentally and he is 6 years old. he still takes up a lot of my time.
Anyway this pregnancy was very much wanted and planned but now that it's all becoming real I'm stressing out.
I've had morning sickness horribly and been crying all the time. Then feeling guilty for not enjoying being pregnant when this is what we wanted. My husband isn't being as supportive as I thought he would be, he won't Oooh and Aaah over names or nursery stuff. It's his first child and we planned it so you would think he'd be excited!
And I'm stressing about having a newborn and still giving my high needs child the support he needs!
I feel like a big failure already and it hasn't even come out yet!
How do I get past this feeling? How can I handle a special needs child and a baby?
Pregnancy stress
Pregnancy stress
Posted in:
Self Care, Parenthood Guilt, Pregnancy, Baby & Toddler, Kids
3 Replies
In regards to your husband, it's completely normal for them to behave in such a way. They always say they don't actually become a father until the baby is born. I'm going through the exact same thing currently with my husband who is a first time dad. He isn't really showing any excitement and wants to wait to choose the name when bubs arrives.
Don't feel guilty at all for not enjoying the pregnancy, I have found it hard to enjoy mine also as I am a constant bag of nerves. I would recommend seeing your GP or Midwife and having a chat about your concerns, being overly cautious it may be that you're at a higher risk for PND due to the stressors. Have a big plan in place and make sure you have the support you need, do you have people lined up who can come and care for both you, your bubs and your special needs son when the going gets tough?
For now, try and focus on the current things going on and don't look too much towards the future, it is unpredictable and you may just create scenarios based on hypothesis :)
Not very men I know ooh and ahh over nursery stuff. Generally as long as the baby has somewhere to sleep men are happy, they couldn't give two hoots what the nursery looked like.
How you feel now has no reflection on how you will feel and cope with a baby when it comes a long. A difficult pregnancy is just that, difficult, and it has no reflection on how much you'll love your child when it gets here.
I think being nervous about how you'll cope is natural. I have a very high needs adult son myself. Please check into what services are available in your area. Many parents I know who are on NDIS packages get in home help with housework and carers that come into the home. I myself have carers come in three times a week. They help with housework, my sons medical and social needs and it's up to me how much I supervise that. So start thinking about what help you'll need and researching how to get it.
It's also a good idea to speak to your GP about how you are feeling. It might be time to speak to a psychologist and they can help link you with services.
My DD was 5 when I had my second child...
She has an ABI and is a lot to deal with...
I often wondered how I'd go with it, but it's actually not too bad
Stressful at times, but I wouldn't have it any other way ?