Hi all! Bit of a back story. I spilt with my ex when my kids just turned 2 and 4. It took 18months for me to decide whether to leave. We were living a pretty crap lifestyle, one i didn't want my kids thinking aas normal. We would constantly have a group of men drinking here, even week nights, family activities i eneded doing on my own with the kids (including his older son, my step son).
Anyway fast forward 6yrs and my ex pretty much hasn't changed. He has the kids 3nights a fortnight (court orders) but does little with them. He refuses to take them to sporting commitments on weekends and if he does during the week he's been drinking. He had no interest in them at all since we spilt, even before hand had no real interest. My son broke a bone and i asked him to come to hospital and he had too much to drink. It was 3pm on a Tuesday!
But recently he has flat out made excuses for not taking one of the kids to weekend sport. When i go to pick them up he's half drunk and so is his gf.
I don't want to stop kids from seeing their dad, they love him to bits but if he can't take them to sport and provide for them why should i send them. He constantly drinks, has all sorts of people visit, pays no child support, never puts them 1st, can't even get out bed the one day he has to take them to school and make them lunch!
Being a mum is hard!!! What would you do?
Do i stop kids from seeing their dad?
Do i stop kids from seeing their dad?
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Kids
5 Replies
I personally wouldn't want to send them. I'd be sorting supervised visitation. That way you aren't preventing a relationship but you know your kids are safe. The kids don't sound safe and that should be top priority.
But seek legal advice.
Yes for your kids wellbeing they shoulsnt be cared for by someone thats drunk. They deserve better. Offer him shorter visits and he must be sober and watch which way he goes... its up to him at the end, your job is to make sure your kids are safe and being well taken care.
And i dont think you need to worry about legal and courts, just tell him what you think and why ie) short or supervised visits because not sober. And youll probably find he knows he wont stand up in court either and wont push it until hes actually sober anyway
I'd be getting the police to do welfare checks while they are there...
Focus on any actual abuse or neglect. Sadly many of those points won't hold up in court like the sports part but you can get him for the drinking while the kids are in his care. Like when he couldn't take his own son to the hospital coz he was drunk. Stress to the courts how much you are worried about the childrens safety while he and gf are drunk. Maybe put in that him having care of them unsupervised isn't currently in the children's best intrest. See about him only getting them back for nights if he goes through AA and then you can keep in contact with his support coach when he has the kids again maybe? To make sure he's not drinking. I don't drink around my son so if anyone tried getting drunk around him I would be very very cross lol don't stand for it