Does it get better than this? I hate my life. I have two toddlers who make my life hell. I have a husband who I feel resents everything I do. He works long hours and just poppped back to the house after I had my four year old screaming on the floor for over an hour for an icy pole which I caved in because I just can't cope and of course As soon as my husband walks in the door my four year blabs to him about me. We sleep in separate rooms because he says I snore, but to me it's just another thing he hates about me. I feel I am sick of trying so hard, I work in his business, I gave up my career to have a family and help him achieve his dream which I know will benefit us all- but I just HATE my life right now. I read so much personal development no I try to be grateful, I read that it is up to me if I want to change my life but I don't even know where to start. I asked for a weekend away, we can afford it and I was told I was selfish for even asking to be away from our business. I miss being single and carefree so much but that just makes me feel guilty like there is something wrong with me as a mother. I just want to know, is it going to get better- when my kids get a little bit older, do they stop being monsters who want to do everything you can possibly imagine and more to get up to mischief. Right now,I can hear my youngest throwing all of our DVDs at the TV, whilst my oldest has climbed using two chairs to get into my jewellery box. I want to escape, I want a different life, different husband, to start all over. Is this wrong?
4 Replies
Yes, it gets much betterrrrrrrrrr. Every one with toddlers/babies at some point have missed their carefree life and it takes some mums longer to grow into their new role. I promise you, as they get older, it becomes much easier. They did a survey of happiness and parents of young children were by far the least happy, you are normal, you will get through this. Take the weekend away, looking at getting some hobbies and take some time to yourself. You aren't a single mum, it shouldn't be hard to get some me time each week
Also, you need to put in the hard yards now discipline wise, don't give in, these are the times where you set the foundation for the rest of their lives (no pressure lol). Pick your battles, so when you do say no, you won't cave. If it's not too bad, let is slide for your sanity!
The toddler age is so hard but yes it does pass. It sounds like you really need some "me time" and it is certainly not selfish to want that, in fact it's necessary! You shouldn't have to live and breathe his business, I'm sure it will survive without you for a few days. If I was you I would insist upon getting away for a bit, you need to tell your husband how drowned and overwhelmed you're feeling. You need to put yourself first for a bit mama!
It definitely gets better as they get older. But your partner needs to listen to your needs. Everyone needs a break, wether that's a weekend away to get looked after by your parents or wether it's a day off a week (kids in daycare) so you can invest time in hobbies etc. Everyone needs time off to refill there bucket.