Not always for selfish reasons

I don't really know why I'm writing I guess I need to vent a little/get some things off my chest.
I've been on both sides of this post the new partner and also the ex partner. I'm so stressed with worry and angust about what will or could happen. I seperated due to domestic violence and even with orders in place he finds ways to still use his power over me but in a way that won't get him into trouble. He has breached the order once and been to court for the breach. When I first met my partner he had been in jail and had a long history I was yet to find out until later down the track. I was young and fell for everything he told me. I believed in second chances and believed he had changed and could continue to change. In the beginning it was great! But slowly that fascade started to slip away. Slowly over time things grew worse but I felt I needed to only show what an amazing person he was to the world.
He had other children to a few different partners. He made me believe it was always the ex partners fault for why the relationship turned sour and why he no longer got to see his children. He bad mouthed his ex partners every chance he could get but he continued to do the poor me I'm so depressed I can't see my children. I than did all the leg work for him to try going back to court for some of the children and the others I searched for hours looking for on social media. I wanted to make him happy and I believed all he told me and believed all the allegations they accused him of were false. I believed him because he made it so believable and even when i questioned he always has something to take that question away. He did the bare minimum he needed I did paperwork running around he only did what he really had to. He was drinking excessively drugs and so many other things but I was so tangled in his life that I found it so hard to leave. I've been free for years now and i now dread the time when that partner comes along and does the same thing I did. I should've opened my eyes a lot more. Several partners who no longer let him near his children. Surely not every single one of them could be the spiteful person he made them out to be. I'm now hoping that the next person to come along will look at the bigger picture like I didn't and see that we all aren't spiteful women looking out for ourselves. Look at the story he tells of how now a few of them kept visits for awhile after separation than stopped for our own selfish reasons. If that was the case wouldn't we stop visits the minute we left? Why would we continue to try and let them have a relationship with there child after the relationship ended. Please ask yourself why and why would more than one person stop contact. Because it's not always for our selfish reasons it's about the best thing for our children and keeping them safe. Not only from the physical violence but the emotional. When your child tells you they no longer want to do visits it breaks your heart realising the hurt it is causing them and the damage it is doing. It's not about being selfish it's about ensuring your child is safe. My heart breaks for my child. If my ex was a person I knew my child would be safe with I would be willing to co parent. I'm not saying all men are in the wrong and that mothers don't keep the children for there own selfish reasons but sometimes it isn't for selfish reasons. Sometimes there is more to the story than your told. I will forever feel guilty for the stress and fear I put on one of my ex's ex's because I made it clearly he has looking for his children and that he wanted to be part of the kids lives. I will always feel guilty and be forever sorry because I know the man he is and I just wanted to make him happy and I truely at the time didn't know the full extent of how violent he could be and i will forever hold that sadness in my heart that I put a hump in your road by being that person that thought it was your fault.