I'm worried about my 6 year old daughter. She is one of the youngest in her class & struggles with her schoolwork, however I am doing my best to support & not put pressure on her, only to listen & try her best. However, recently, on a number of occasions, both at home & at school, she has said that she 'wants to die', to 'punch herself until she dies' & that 'she hates living'. She says that other kids can be mean, but I do know that she can also have moments of being mean, which I am trying to discourage. She has a close group of friends, but like any group of girls that age, there are days that they fall out & then are BFFs the next day. She has one friend in the group who I would say is on the spectrum & who has said the same sorts of things. This child has had a turbulent time with her parents divorcing & is very moody & dark in her behaviour. This child's parent is also my daughter's teacher, so a bit tricky to address. I worry as I have dealt with depression myself & my daughter is very similar to me. I still don't feel like I have my shit together at home, the house is a mess & it's hard to get in a good routine as I am a part-time shift-working nurse. I am booked in to see our GP today (who is my colleague - small town!) I am also thinking of taking a couple of months off work to focus on myself, our family & get things sorted at home. I guess I am just wondering if anyone has dealt with anything similar or has ideas of how to build resilience in a child. I love her to bits & it breaks my heart to hear her say these things. Thank you
4 Replies
My son says things like that when he's frustrated or upset, he doesn't actually mean he wants to die, he just struggles to articulate his feelings (he's 9 now so he's much better at understanding his emotions these days.). It's heartbreaking to hear them say it though!
Chatting about it to your GP is a good idea, your little one may benefit from some councelling or occupational therapy to give her some tools to cope with the overwhelming feelings!
As for the school issues, I agree it would be awkward speaking to her teacher about it. I'd speak to the principal directly about this, just say you don't feel comfortable or think it appropriate speaking to the teacher about it as it's her child that you're having the problems with.
Do it asap though, school issues have such a huge impact on their lives. Even issues that seem silly or trivial to us can have a negative effect!
If you're in the financial position to take time off, do it!
Sounds like you all need a bit of recharging, so to speak. You can reestablish a good home routine, organize everything and just relax a bit. It'll do you all a world of good.
The split in the year for school is such crap and should have never happened. It really sounds like the preasure of school is getting to her and shes not coping. Have you thought about keeping her down a year. She would still have kids her own age but would also be that little bit more mature to cope with the stresses of school. Otherwise instead of speaking to the class room teacher because you feel its a conflict of interest you could speak with the principal or deputy.
I agree!
I'm in Tassie, and all kids start kinder the year they turn 5. Then off to prep the year they turn 6 (there are exceptions to that rule but for the most part, that is the norm).
The way they do it in other states baffles me! There can potentially be prep classes with 4 year olds in with nearly 6 year olds, that kind of age gap is huge in terms of maturity and readiness for formal learning. It also makes it hard in the friendship groups!
Thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate the feedback. I spoke to our GP & he was wonderful. Thinks my daughter is ok, probably copying the moody friend, which I do agree with. I organised to have a couple of months of annual leave starting after school hols finish, my boss is very understanding, so that was great. I think the suggestion to speak to the principal is a good one, even if they can get some sort of program or something to learn to deal with feelings, friendships, etc. Thank you again for taking the time, I really appreciate it xo