My husband & I have decided to separate. I'm so lost I don't know where to go from here. We have 2 small kids & i am so scared about how this will affect them. Does anyone have any advice about ho to approach this with them??? They are 3 & 5.
Also how you single mums cope financially?
When you see a lawyer about this stuff what things do they help you with?
I feel so very lost right now, this seems like such a huge thing to me... how do I even begin to deal with this?
Thanks in advance for the help
Separation
Separation
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Sisterhood Stories, Parenthood Guilt, Kids
4 Replies
My kids are exactly the same age and I separated 6 months ago. It's been tough.
I'm somewhat lucky that I'm a nurse which is ok pay and was able to increase my hours. My kids go to childcare which is expensive. I get $278 a fortnight ftb. It's been hard to lower my expectations re lifestyle and money but I'm getting there. Kids have adjusted beautifully. Good luck
Honestly I've always been a single parent and I've always managed. Sure I'm not rich and I'm not driving new cars etc but I have everything I need, we have food on the table and my bills are paid. Of course I budget carefully, and shop smart.
I have held my sisters hand through her separation.
A lot of how you cope financially will depend on where you expect to live. Initially I went for something smaller and cheaper. Kids can share rooms, it won't hurt them, lots of kids love sharing rooms when they are younger. The reason where you live is the big kicker is because that's usually the biggest expense.
You don't need to have all the answers straight away. It's more important to sort out your income and where everyone will live.
At some point it is a good/smart idea to see a lawyer. Some will do an initial consultation for free. They will give you a lot of info in that appointment to get you started. Otherwise you could contact a women's legal service. If you and your ex can play nice, and there is not a lot of assets/debt to separate then you might not need to use a lawyer. You can also divorce without a lawyer very cheaply if you choose to do so. There is a lot of information on the Australian Family Law court website, the child support agency also have very good pamphlets that have load of info in them that's not just about child support.
How you cope financially depends on where you live, how much debt you have, what job you have, how much child support you get etc. I work part time but get a good hourly rate in a specialised position and it's just enough.
It's really different for everyone...my ex was a druggie so financially I actually coped much better being single. My daughter has been much happier since splitting.