I am so sick of my 5 year old son. Nothing is ever good enough. And I mean ever! I'm so over it. How did I raise a self centred entitled child? His brother isn't like this and I certainly don't over spoil them. It's not just me who has noticed now. Family & friends have commented on his behaviour and even school has said something. I'm at a loss of what to do! He is a master at manipulation and spends most of his time trying to make me feel guilty. He even does things like wait till his father leaves the room then will casually say something like I don't love you mummy you are a bad mummy. The other day my partner hid in the hall way and heard him. He went off his rocket. I'm just worn out and have nothing left. Don't get me wrong. I love my son and he has some amazing qualities but there is just this whole other side to him! Please don't judge me.
9 Replies
What consequences are there in place with his behaviour?
It sounds like he picks you because you're a soft target and he knows he can hurt your feelings. I would get tough with him, it has to come from you, the weakest link. The fact he waited for his father to be out of the room shows he knows he couldn't get away with it with him. Consequences for his behaviour and no reaction when he deliberately says something hurtful. Ignore the hurtful comment and punish the behaviour, each and every time. Find his currency and use that when he needs to be punished. Good luck, it's never too late, remember the more he gets, the more entitled he will be. Cut down on any extras.
This!!! Agree with it all
Wouldn't it be great if kids came with an instruction manual! Being a parent is wonderful but so bloody hard. Consequences and consistent rules and expectations help. Always follow through - if you say something, do it or make sure your son does what's he's told. If you say no, you have to mean no. We are not our kids best friends - we are their parents. Don't take to heart what he says - he will grow up and will change. Be consistent, firm, follow through and in charge. Good luck
Its really easy to get in a rut with our kids. They bounce of us and the same behaviour repeats and gets worse and more frustrating for us.
Step back, identify the specific behaviours, choose three main ones and then work on them one at a time.
Theres a book The Explosive Child that scripts you on how to talk to him about it and get him on board with changing.
Is he 5 or 6? Your question title and content say different things.
No suggestions but kids usually repeat the things that have been said to them and around them or even when they're within ear shot.
My 10 year old is pretty entitled but I've never said anything like that too him even when he's naughty and pushing me to my limits. In saying that he's not a NT (normal) 10 year old and has Autism.
Kids are a product of their environment, also sounds like he knows your exhausted and a push over. Raise your voice a little, give time out, persist with punishments. It will only get better and if all else fails see a paediatrician for behaviour management.
My son went through the same bratty entitled nasty stage and I have never said awful things like "I hate you" etc...we have a very loving home environment. Myself and my husband never fight Sometimes kids can just be mean! They don't develop empathy until about 7 or 8.
Get a piece of paper. Get him to draw a heart on it. Explain how it looks all beautiful and smooth. Tell him this is your heart, ypur feelings.
Tell him to say "I hate you mummy" and scrunch the paper heart up. Open it back up and show him how its no longer smooth and its "broken". Tell him thats what his nasty words do to your heart abd feelings.
Stick it on the fridge.
sounds like he could be well on his way to developing a personality disorder like NPD. Google: Narcissistic traits in Children etc. Has your husband got these traits too?