Miscarriage number 2..
So here I am again, after posting a while ago about losing my little love at 15 weeks. I decided to just see what happens and fell pregnant again quickly, only to result in another early miscarriage. This time 5 weeks. But it was just enough to get my hopes up. I saw my gp, and he said they unfortunately don't do any testing until you've had three miscarriages. I just feel sick every day now. My heart has this huge gaping hole. I had such a cruisey time with my first child, almost 3 year old daughter. I just don't know why it's not happening now. I'm going to see a psychologist, because since the first my anxiety has been pretty bad. I'm having more time off work. And I just basically feel crap all round. I'm trying to keep busy doing stuff around the house but in the quieter moments there's like this huge weight on my chest and my thoughts just turn extremely negative. I don't know what I'm asking really. I was talking to my husband last night about everything and he said maybe we wait 6 months and try then. But I also feel like, if I wait 6 months and have another miscarriage they're only going to just start investigating then... the gap gets bigger between my daughter, my husband is 42 and is a bit worried about being an "old dad" (not that i think he's old, I think he's just paranoid because we have an age gap). I also just feel like I honestly couldn't feel any worse than I do now.. I guess I'm just asking for some advice. If anyone can share their perspectives. I feel like I can't really talk to friends about it because I can see it makes them uncomfortable and they don't really know what to tell me. None of my friends have had a miscarriage.
3 Replies
Hey there,
First of all I am so sorry for your losses :(. I know how heartbreaking they can be (as well as every other emotion etc that comes along with it).
Bit of background. I Had two losses, one at 14 weeks (missed miscarriage) and one at 18 weeks (was diagnosed with fetal hydrops at 13 weeks, all testing done at the time with no results).
Anyway, I had the ob say the same things. "It's just bad luck, no cause was found with either so you will be fine". "These things happen" "only one in three pregnancies go to term" etc etc, the list goes on. Deep down though, I felt it wasn't just "bad luck" and something was actually causing the losses.
I didn't wait to long to fall pregnant, maybe a couple of months. I didn't intentionally fall pregnant, I just wasn't using protection and was careless as to when it would happen.
I went on to have a healthy pregnancy & healthy bub.. then at 6 weeks she was diagnosed with a genetic condition which turns out to be male fatal. I also have the gene (I had no idea I had it) & it explains all the losses. I always knew there was a reason, call it mother's instinct.
Anyway, moral of the story is - if you feel ready then why not try again? As you say, if you do wait awhile and things don't go as planned, then you have a bit of a process ahead of you. However, if you aren't physically and mentally ready to be pregnant again, then wait - there is no harm with either option.
Either way I really wish you the best of luck. If you are not satisfied keep pushing until you have answers. X
My story reads almost identical to yours. I suggest finding a good naturopath. I recently have and my nervous system is way out and they think that could be impacting. I work in a highly stressful job which is putting my body into the fight/flight sympathetic nervous system which takes blood away from the trunk (including uterus) to the extremities. Also ensure you are eating protein, it grows babies and DNA. But see a naturopath :-)
I had 3 babies with no problems except conceiving the 3rd i needed futility drugs. Then had a early mc around 4-5w. Fell pregnant a few months later had baby. Accidentally fell pregnant before first period but had a missed mc at 12.5w, i went for my 12w scan to find no heartbeat, abdominal abdormality and baby measured 11w so had ti have tablets to induce mc and got to see my baby and had him cremated. After this all i wanted was to be pregnant again. I fell pregnant just before my last ones due date. But that one ended up being a blighted ovum (only sac) which was cobfirmed at around 10w and was another missed mc so had a d and c for that one. Dont know why i mc twice in a row. Husband dosnt want to try again, i am still mixed. There are some fb pages misscarried mummies and babies gone to soon lots of support. I found after the one at 12w it helped but after the following one it didnt because we were no longer trying it just upset me with all the new pregnancies. Good luck and hope it works out next time.Also my husband and i have a age gap, he is 44 and i am 31 in december. Our kids are 1,4,8, 9. He reckons he is to old thats why we are having problems but i dont believe that