Hi mums (& dads),
My 3 yr old keeps getting referred to as "gifted". I did my best to try and not read too much into it as we all think our children are pretty special, however, now his child care teacher and our GP have mentioned it. If it is true, I would love to nurture it. If it's not, I'm okay with it because he is still adorable.
Where would I go to get him tested? (Melbourne area)
Have any of you had similar experiences? What have you done?
Thank you
21 Replies
Start with your GP. They can refer you to appropriate services.
Gifted in what way? My daughter taught herself to read and by 4 years old could read a newspaper. It was the start of a nightmare and they are likened to ADHD kids, if understimulated behaviour can be horrible. They get bored incredibly easily. She is now 17 and dropped out of school because of behaviour and boredom. I was always scared to push the school to keep up with her because I learnt early on you get judged harshly for throwing the "gifted" word around about my child from family and friends and even some school staff who assumed I was one of those parents that pushed her. The only thing I did was read to her, the same with her brothers and none of them are gifted. Don't make the same mistake as me and really push for his future school to keep up with him. I wish it had a different name because for us it has not been a gift 🙁
I had a number of close friends who were deemed as gifted at high school. Truly amazing kids who knew they wanted to get into medicine and become surgeons. There was no doubt that this is exactly what they were going to do. We went to a very academic school and they were tested to be in top 1% of the state. Until in YR11 that is... they got bored. They couldn't find the spark anymore. It was simply too easy. They didn't even finish YR12. That was back in '99. Be careful with "gifted" tag.
I was nurtured in primary school and was well above the rest. In high school I was bored so I scraped through. I only just bounced back recently and am almost finished a maths degree (almost 14yrs after high school)
Gifted in what exactly? I wouldn't push it at this age. My daughter was also considered gifted as a toddler however she is pretty average at school...it could be nothing.
Haha...I love the way us mums are so honest about our kids, love this comment.
Haha thanks. I think people throw around the gifted word too much these days. Most of these kids are just reaching their mile stones a bit quicker than usual which is common.
How exactly can you be considered gifted at only 3? Can he do algebra? Lol...sorry I just don't see how people can decide a child that young is gifted.
Gifted kids absolutely show signs early. I'm the above commenter with the gifted 17 year old. She was saying 4 syllable words well before her 1st birthday and was having conversations with adults at 18 months. She would just watch people do things and then copy, things toddlers wouldn't be able to do. She picked up a book one day and just read it. I was gobsmacked, and it wasn't until then that I realised she wasn't just developing fast she was gifted. Gifted artistic, athletics, musical all of these kids stand out very early. It's just a shame there is such a jealousy with it from other parents. Its no different to having a special needs child really. It's definitely not fun and games.
I'm sorry you experience jealousy from other parents. That would have been very tough. I commented on seeing what my high school friends went through and their struggles with being labelled 'gifted'. My oldest nephew is well and truly 'gifted'. He is a man trapped in a 5yo body. And for him and his parents it is far from easy. He is getting into trouble at school even after being given harder, more challenging work. He challenges teachers, adults etc. You could have a proper, adult conversation with him by the time he was two. It was amazing. But it is far from an easy journey for the little boy and his family.
As a side note, speaking in syllables instead of words young can also indicate future learning difficulties :) Obviously not in your case at all but for other mums reading this.
Sorry if my comment came across as rude I was just generally confused as to what makes a child gifted but thanks for explaining, there are lots of gifted kids out there.
What exactly are the signs? I keep seeing can have a full conversation at 18 months but it's actually not that unusual for kids to be talking properly at that age. I didn't realise it was a gifted thing.
I dont think you need testing, unless you want to tell other people how he scored, thats about all you get out of it.
The most imporant things to do are 1. Know your child and nurture his interests. Passion = drive = success and happiness, not smarts.
2. Understand gifted, do research so you dont fall into the same trap many parents do of pushing academics and filling time with extra worksheets that they finish fast with zero investment. Read up and make a plan on HOW you will nurture it, focus on where the gaps are - social, emotional, perception of self, determination in things he doesnt enjoy or do fast, patience with others, recognising and really valuing differences and strengths in others.
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My relative was gifted at a young age a thirst for knowledge, would out do all his class mates and his mother ended up keeping him home one day a week because the teacher requested it as he was too far ahead. As he got older though it wore off, he didn't like Uni and ended up a barman
And from being hailed as special and the sky's the limit and feeling different to everyone and predisposed to depression, its really hard to reconcile that with your self esteem. But its a common story. The hard workers and the people with drive come through in high school while the gifted become bored and still get by without any effort but with no love for any of it.
I always suspected my first daughter was of above average intelligence - perhaps not gifted but certainly not average. When she was 3y10m she was assessed (without my knowledge!) at her kindergarten by the school's learning assistance/support officer and her score indicated she was 'talented'. Nothing specific, just across the board in all aspects of their testing, which was pretty basic. The teacher was brilliant, she gave us tips on how to nurture her at home and also pointed out that their social and emotional development is super important, as without that, their talents will not amount to much. Maybe get him tested - I saw a fantastic educational psychologist once who could do all those assessments - but moreso to satisfy your own curiosity. Whether he's 'gifted' or not, you really do the same thing as a parent at this age. Help him develop his reading and comprehension, numeracy, talk about nature and science (my kids have always loved my anatomy and physiology textbooks and some good children's human body books we've found), provide him with lots of artistic and musical materials too, construction materials, cook with him, etc. You never know what he might be good at! Putting him into school early is not recommended these days, it does more harm than good. Just stimulate him with plenty of activities for now, whether it's at home or in organised activities like playgroups or lessons. My daughter has averaged-out a bit, she's 8 now and despite being highly intelligent, she's actually not the greatest learner in a conventional sense. But that's another story. She's still on the right track, but clever kids can be very difficult to support through their schooling! Good luck xo
They definitely need to be kept stimulated..they will bore easily and that causes issues! Gifted children often have social difficulties.you will always need to explain how to behave socially around others and guide him through it..and unfortunately Kids will find it difficult to interact with him..but mostly people will understand and be tolerant of their awkwardness and realize they are special...they need to be nurtured in every way..talk to others with gifted children..this will help!!
Ok so I've read all the comments, and they're all pretty typical of society's views aren't they?!
The fact that it's called gifted and talented seems to be offensive to others, they ask unconsciously "what makes you think your kid is more special than mine" and most of them tell you to let your kid be a kid....
Imagine if I posted on here saying my 3 year old son's teacher has suggested I get him tested for ASD or ADHD, then what would the commenters say? "Let him be a kid." "What makes you think that". "Don't focus on academics."
No. They don't say that. They offer support and guidance, because they don't feel threatened by my aspy kid who by the way, has severe dyslexia. By using the terminology of G & T, which isn't your fault but the system's, it says to (insecure) parents that "my kid is better than yours." And yes, all
kids are gifted and talented in their own way, but we're talking exceptionally off the charts here.
I am a mum of teenagers with ASD, severe dyslexia and a few other
acronyms. In my opinion, your road ahead with your son will be no different, possibly more difficult, than ours. We have a non individualised school system that needs to fit kids into boxes, ours don't fit. Square peg, round hole.
My advice - get him tested, just as I did for my boys, so you can learn all you can in order to help and support him. Get support for yourself, I'm sure there's support groups for parents, as it's isolating having a special needs kid. Think about the possibility of homeschooling. Do your research, watch ted talks, you tube, etc.
Ensuring my kids' maintain good mental health and self esteem has always been my priority, the actual school work is irrelevant. Once you understand what it is you're actually dealing with, ie gifted, ASD, savant, gifted with aspy traits, whatever it is, you learn all that you can about it, and hopefully you even get a bit of funding to help you. That's the model we exist in, like it or not, we have to "label" our kids in order to get the help and support they need/deserve.
One last point, in regard to social skills, I imagine most geniuses didn't/don't have a lot of friends. Just meet your kid's own individual needs and ignore the BS society will tell you, they're just trying to keep everyone in the same box. Social skills and communication is not a natural skill set for my kids, I get it, I support them in how they choose to live their lives. Don't push socialization if your kid is happy on his own, or hanging at home with you. School is overwhelming for sensitive kids like mine, and when I homeschooled my youngest, we socialized frequently out in the community, doing real life activities that he was interested in. For example, he was interested in sewing/knitting, so we went to see the CWA ladies, he sat and chatted with them while one lady taught him finger knitting. He does better with older people. He has a level of maturity way beyond his years yet he has trouble tying shoelaces. You'll possibly find your son has splintered skills too, and that's ok.
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