Just a rant......
I have so much to be thankful for in my life. A beautiful home, a beautiful blended family including my amazing partner and our three beautiful, healthy, amazing kids. An amazing home and great families for support, yet here I sit wondering why I feel sad and alone. I am far from a perfect mother. I know sometimes I can try harder and I am so god damn tired. Everyone has been sick this week and I just want a good nights sleep. I feel bad for that as my partner and I have every other weekend without kids so from the outside looking in people would most likely be like, hell you get time to yourself and that is something many parents don't get. But I can't seem to rest when they are not here. I worry about them all the time yet I am mad at them all the time when they are here. They are so small and so precious and I just feel like I am failing somehow. I want to skip forward 10 years just to see how they turn out. I am scared of if they are going to still love me and grow to be greatful for the life I have given them. I don't have any friends where I live so I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest.
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