My eldest starts high school next year..... to say that I am not ready for this is an understatement. He has only just really settled into his last year in a new school, making good friends, to now find out the majority of these mates are going to a different high school to him. Do we go with our zoning or foster the friendships and follow a mate? I am so torn..... He has always struggled making good friends and may have to start all over next year. Am I overthinking this?
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Honestly. My parents wanted to send me to the closest school we lived near but most of my friends were going to one further away so I begged and begged to be at the further away one with my friends....and a few months after starting high school I wasn't even friends with them anymore. I would go with what school is the best fit for your child, not just where his friends are going and not just based on what is closest either. Go to all the schools around your area and check them all out.
Friendship dynamics change dramatically once they start highschool, people I was great friends with in grade six weren't even in my friendship group after a few week in 7th grade.
Go with the school you feel will help support him academically, I guarantee he will make new friends either way.
You pick the best school for your son, and not based on who goes where. What if those friends change schools or move away, then what?
Depends where you live, but our local high schools have quite a few feeder schools, so lots of different kids start afresh. They do orientation days in December and then a camp early in the new year. Ask the prospective school what they do to help kids meet and make friends
This is really one of things where you can't predict the future.
My first high school, I went to the one right next to my suburban primary school and it's the one we all went to because their wasn't really a choice. None of our families were rolling in dough so there wasn't going to be anything other than the school we were within walking distance of. During grade eight all of my "friends" from primary school became quite cliquey and I no longer met their expectations. I didn't have the right socks, didn't style my hair right, didn't listen to the right music or have money to buy cassettes. I stopped getting invited to sleep overs and I was ignored at school at lunch time. To start with I tried stealing what I needed to fit in and became quite a proficient shop lifter but the pressure wasn't worth it and I turned into the high school hermit. The next few years were lonely and I went off the rails - by yr11 I was out of control.
Cue second high school. I was only there for 2 years (had to redo yr11) but made lifelong friends despite the 1 year age gap - I'm now 40 and we're still close friends. I can't imagine how my life may have been different if I'd met these wonderful people earlier and been saved the depression and hopelessness of being outcast, at the very least it would have saved me that juvie rap sheet...
Pick the best school. A supportive and positive schooling experience lends itself to a supportive and inclusive cohort which makes it easier to make friends.
The other thing is, the existing friendships now don't have to end. There's weekends and sports for example. We all know out in the real world we aren't only friends with people in our workplace for instance.