Feeling guilty as a working mum

Hey mums and dads.

I'm a single mum to one who's in early years of high school.

Those that are single working parents, also those that both parents work FT away from their children for long periods of time. How do you cope with this?

I'm feeling so guilty as of late. I used to work 50 hours a fortnight, it was good as I was able to still see my child and study. Now working 80 a fortnight I'm home after 6, my child is in bed by 9pm and I've had to quit uni. Now work has changed their business hours which mean I'll be working until 6pm. I'm feeling deflated as I won't be home until after 7pm. My child doesn't see me when he awakes as I'm off to work. The working hours I am content with, it's the finishing an hour later that has made me anxious.

Working parenting guilts have kicked in and the late finish time hasn't even started. I'm so anxious about this, I can feel I'm about to explode with tears. I'm fearful speaking to my manager about this (as much as she's lovely), because it's compulsory all around the office. And I don't want to be 'let go' because I'm a casual.

Not sure what I'm asking, possible a vent. Just feeling anxious, and upset that midweek I'll be coming home even later to my child. Just trying to figure out a way to deal with this and come to terms with it; either speak to my manager of my concerns full knowing they will be dismissed, just deal with it and move on, or in the meantime find another job close to home.

Just to add. My work is stressful and demanding, regularly gives me anxiety attacked (I hide it well) and I'm feeling as though I'm being taken on a joy ride. I'm emotionally and psychically drained. By the time I get home, I'm snappy/grumpy and all I want to do is go to bed, but force myself to stay awake for my child. I've been fighting depression and anxiety going on 15 years. 0 social life, my whole weekend consist with doing chores & spending as much time as I can with my child (even if that involves doing household chores together). My weekend is exhausting and by no means relaxing and I CBF seeing people and or talking on the phone. I see a psychologist once a week for my own sanity. I'm practically working towards my deathbed and I'm missing out on a huge chunk of my child's life. But I cannot afford to quit my job. And even if I was to find another job, I'm petrified of informing my manager if that was to ever happen, as I dislike being a burden as we're already understaffed.

Edit: all my family work, so unable to hang out at home with my child whilst I'm not there.

Thank you.