My father has terminal lung cancer and now a tumour in his brain. He was diagnosed 2 years ago and given 12 months at the time. he's done numerous chemotherapy/ radiation treatments that didn't do a thing. But is still with us because of his immune therapy. Recently he's been hospitalised because he has the flu. He got the flu from my brothers kids that live with my parents due to my brothers drug abuse. Dad has had 5 days in hospital so far. He was and still has continued to smoke cigarettes and marajuana since he was 14! . I've never had a very close relationship with either of my parents due to their drug and alcohol issues. I'm a single mum and self employed if I don't work we get no income other than FBT . I want to be there for my dad as my mum is an alcoholic and has left him on his own . But In that doing that I'm abandoning my own commitments to my own family. I guess I'm looking for reassurance, to hear about your stories.
Estranged parents - terminal cancer opinions
Estranged parents - terminal cancer opinions
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Sisterhood Stories, Kelly (IM2)
5 Replies
Your dad had made his own choices in life that got him where he is. There is no point spending time with your dad if you become homeless. That being said that doesn't mean you can't visit your dad in hospital for visits.
Kids will be there, housework can wait. So going to visit your dad for an hour or two when you can is a good thing to do. You juggle it and you somehow make it work. Wether a friend watches your kids for a few hours or something you find a way.
Unfortunately the issue is my parents live 5 hours away
My bio dad was never there for me as a child, I didn't even know he was still alive until I was 16, we were never close once I found him, but he went in the hospital two years ago, we found out it was advanced cancer three days later, I found family to watch my boys and was at the hospital as much as possible. Then I got the call he was going down hill two days later. I was by his side from then until he passed. We did not have the best relationship, he abused drugs and alcohol from before I was born until he went into the hospital. But I made sure I would have no regrets on my part in the end
My bio dad was never there for me as a child, I didn't even know he was still alive until I was 16, we were never close once I found him, but he went in the hospital two years ago, we found out it was advanced cancer three days later, I found family to watch my boys and was at the hospital as much as possible. Then I got the call he was going down hill two days later. I was by his side from then until he passed. We did not have the best relationship, he abused drugs and alcohol from before I was born until he went into the hospital. But I made sure I would have no regrets on my part in the end
Your priority is your children, keeping a roof over their head, and not your neglectful selfish drug fucked parent.
Visit when you can but don't take time off. Read up on toxic parents and don't feel pressured or guilty. Just because he's your dad, doesn't mean you owe him anything, and you expecting him to love you how you want him to, is very unlikely to happen at this late stage.
Some people just get shit parents, I'm sorry you ended up with some. Learn how not to parent from them and do things differently this time around xx