I have two beautiful children. A daughter who turned two last month and a six week old son. This is not a question - I just needed to write my feelings down somewhere without being judged. Lately I have been feeling like the world would be better off without me. I look at my beautiful kids and I feel like I am a failure in so many ways - and they are happy with their dad (my husband) and their grandparents and aunties and uncles... I feel like when they are with me they just cry or scream all the time. I feel so sad all the time and small things feel like massive things. I slept on my couch last night because I couldn't stand the thought of sleeping in the same bed as my husband after a fight. I haven't eaten much today but I cried while eating because I felt like I am not worthy of eating. I have had dark thoughts enter my mind so often of hurting myself. I just feel like I can't keep up with house work or looking after my kids... I don't know how to cope and I feel like I can't tell anyone how I feel including my husband...
9 Replies
Please tell someone. Call your midwife, go and see her, community health nurse or gp. You are suffering depression, those are really negative thoughts but you are very much needed and loved. I have felt a little like this and it was depression, Im doing much better now. You can get through this. Talk to someone.
Please speak to a medical professional. You have described the symptoms of depression. You are 100% needed! You are worthy of food. Seek help now
You need to seek help. Please. It can get better but only if you ask for help.
While this is a common thing people feel, your brain makes you feel like you are the only one, like you're a terrible person for feeling this. You are not alone. You are not terrible. This is a chemical imbalance in your brain making you feel this. Nothing you've done wrong. Please tell someone you trust.
Please see a trusted gp you can work through these feelings. In the meantime This is beyond blues support line
1300 22 4636. Please call and talk through your feelings they offer so much support.
This is also their website if you would like to read about depression and look through support options https://www.beyondblue.org.au
You are so loved and needed it I know it doesn't feel like it right now but you can get through this.
It’s okay, everything will be okay. Go talk to your GP hun. It sounds like PND which is normal and okay, but you need to see someone.
And the way I always see it, the kids always seem happier around everyone else but us, because when they are with us, their walls come down and they can cry or they do need that comfort because we are their most trusted person. I feel like when I drop my kids off at mums, walls come up But as soon as I come in, they need me. Your babies need you because you’re their person. You’ve got this mama,
From someone who has been exactly where you are right now, know that you don't have to feel this way. Get to your gp asap. It sounds like postnatal depression. Your kids and husband absolutely need you. I promise there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. You need to just reach out for help. Can you talk to your mum or mother in law?
Please please please go and see a doctor. Also tell your health nurse how you are feeling, they will not judge you in anyway and will help you. I got a lot of help with my daughter and still do. You aren't a failure in anyway shape or form. You are worthy of eating and I bet you are an amazing mum. Take some time out for yourself and ask someone to have them both so you can just relax. If bub is breastfed express a bottle or do in between his feeds.
As someone who has lost a spouse to suicide and left as a single parent. Please reach out...
Please...
I have experienced exactly your feelings, and my kids were around the age yours are. I tried many things such as exercise, yoga, breathing exercises, talking extensively with a Psychologist, GP/mental health plans, etc. I was very anti the idea of taking medication to simply live my life. Finally after an all time low and some kind words from a trusted friend I made an appointment with my GP and got a script for antidepressants (I got prescribed Prozac). It takes a little time to work and get the dosage right but it has totally transformed my life. I now take 2 tablets a day and I can honestly say I have never felt happier. My relationships are all so much better including the most important relationship I have - the one with myself. I refuse to be my own worst critic anymore! Long term sure I would prefer to get off then but for the time being (it's been about 2.5 years now) I am not changing a thing. It may not be the path for everyone but in my case it is the right thing for me. Good luck, believe in yourself and you will overcome this. 🙏🏼