I can't parent anymore!! No matter what I do my child is always naughty. I try my hardest to do everything right by her. I have tried giving her everything she wants and she is still hard to handle. I have taken everything away from her and she still just keeps going. She doesn't listen and gets into everything she knows she's not allowed to have if I take my eyes off her for 5 minutes. When she is finally being good I praise her and make a big deal out of it but then she just goes and does something she isn't allowed to. She is 4 so I do understand she will push my buttons and all that but when will it get a little better? Please tell me there is a light at the end of this long dark tunnel. Right from word go she has been a difficult child. I'm at the end of my ropes. Kinder tell me she is perfect there. It also doesn't make a difference if someone else in my family has her she will act the same and won't listen to anyone. Sorry if this doesn't make sense but I just don't know what to do and don't think I can go on. I often think she would be better being adopted as I obviously am failing her
7 Replies
You are not failing. You are obviously doing something right, because she is managing at school.
Have you ever done a parenting course? Or received help from a child psychologist with parenting techniques that work for you and your child?
I haven't done a course or received help. That's my next plan as I'm just ready to give up
When you give her everything and then the next moment take everything away she gets confused. Nothing is constant. Don't reward for good behaviour expect it. Some kids rewards work but not her. She sounds like her little life has been pretty easy in that she knows she can get anything if she complains enough and when you take it away she knows eventually she will get it back. You gotta figure out one thing and stick to it. Say yes sometimes and no. Don't take away stuff unless she's doing something naughty with it. Punishment needs to be part of the thing they did naughty or it won't make sence or sink in
I have tried these things over the 4 years of her life. When I give her everything, it's either for her birthday or Santa brings it, I won't just buy it because she is having a tantrum. I have started to cut a majority of sugar out of her diet and I've seen an improvement but most days she is just the same. I say no a lot to things she asks for when shopping but keep it in mind for presents.
I wonder if youre micromanaging her? Sometimes we need to ignore what we dont want and find something to praise and shape her behaviour that way. Kids want to be good, they also need a break and allowed to be just a kid.
take the stuff out of the equation, it only confuses things & it sounds like you do link giving and taking her stuff to expectation of behaviour, then youre disappointed and frustrated when it doesnt work out. You need other tools as shes only four its mostly positive interactions and spending quality time together.
Thanks so much for writing this sometimes I feel like I am the only one who struggles as much as I do.
No worries. Definitely not the only one to struggle