What would you do if a smaller child asked to see your child's bum/vagina? Actually they would nearly be the same age except the one that asked to see my child's bum/vagina would mentally be around a year younger.
I've obviously done the no one asks to see it, touch it. It's our private parts and nobody is allowed to touch it to both of them.
They are of opposite genders. Now if it was my own two children I'd probably do the we don't do that speach and teach them that's not acceptable and leave it at that. but the other child I have in my care and know there are issues around this and what has happened to him.
I know it isn't his fault and I know that he didn't ask for this to happen but do I treat it as curiosity like I would if both were my own and be more watchful even though I know some of this bevauour has happened to him. My hearts breaking 😢 This poor little boy but I also think what about my poor little girl! I don't want anything to happen to her and I want her to know that behaviour is not ok!
Do I continue to help this little boy and teach him what is right or do I give him back to be moved around from home to home. Im feeling so so lost. They are both under school age. If they were older I'd probably hand him back right now to protect my own child. But can a child's behaviour be changed in regards to that stuff?
I'm feeling so lost right now and am so unsure what to do! I've spoken to both of them and explained we don't do that and he has disclosed some information in this conversation. But do I keep reinforcing what is right and wrong and keep trying? I'm so lost right now
Child's asking to see another child's private parts
Child's asking to see another child's private parts
Posted in:
Mental Health, Parenthood Guilt, Behaviour, Kids
4 Replies
Before this incident, had anyone really taken the time to teach this little boy what is right and wrong with regards to bodies? Most children are taught from a young age whats appropriate and whats not, however if these things have happened to him he is likely very confused. If it was me I would continue to teach him and give him the nurture he obvisiously needs but I would probably have a quiet word to my daughter on the side and tell her its most certainly not ok and to make sure she tells you if he or anyone else asks to see/ touch any part of her body.
From what you have said I assume you are fostering this child so I would treat him exactly the same as you would your own children.
Get the book "Everyones got a bottom" and follow it up with talks on what is and isn't appropriate. If they are opposite genders there will be a natural curiosity but not predatory at this age.
Contact Bravehearts as they have additional resources including a stop light chart to show normal behaviours and those that are cause for concern. Supervise discreetly and redirect play as necessary. He is learning and needs your help, teach him rather than abandon him like everyone else.
Under school age definitely treat it like curiosity ! This kids had some confused messages so far so teach him the right one and keep the play areas out of closed areas like bedrooms (for supervision ) is also really encourage your daughter to come tell you (they are good dobbers at that age ) if he says it again ! Being so young reinforcement of rules and privacy without shaming is important !
Read them books about the topic (my underpants rule is a great one for your daughter particularly ) or ask his counselor (if he has one ?) if they know any you can use !
It’s so hard but stability and consistency is what he needs from you
Absolutely normal behaviour.
All kids are curious at that way.
I remember being around 4-5 and my male friend and I (same age) showed each other our privates. I was never abused and I don't think he was.
Consider him as your own child. Treat the situation as if it were your child telling him to show her his privates. How would you handle the situation?
This little boy was abused and now because you know it happened to him, you automatically assume he is going to abuse your child. It's not that common.
If you can't handle this situation and you are a Forster carer, I would highly recommend not to continue pursuing this.